“Kung-Fu Bischoff”
Eric Bischoff comes to the ring in a karate uniform, accompanied by Ric Flair. Bischoff states that Matt Morgan is no longer apart of Fortune or Immortal. He wishes Morgan “good luck in his future endeavors”. Cute. Bischoff is giving Mr. Anderson another chance for a title shot…all he has to do is pin Bischoff. However, that’s probably not going to happen considering Anderson is a little under the weather. In case Anderson accepts the challenge, Bischoff demonstrates his karate skills on the referee. He also fires the referee. Bischoff and Flair gingerly leave the ring.
EV 2.0 and Brian Kendrick are talking backstage. Rob Van Dam walks in and starts complaining about Raven. Fortune interrupt and cause more dissention. Styles starts getting into Rhino’s face. Rhino goes after Styles but accidentally Gores RVD.
Mike Tenay and Taz are on the phone with Mr. Anderson. He says that he’s had a couple of concussions, but this one has been the worst. His short term memory has faded. He thinks that Matt Morgan had his best interests in mind last week but still doesn’t fully trust him.
Elsewhere, Winter is still stalking Angelina Love. Winter tells Love that “she never has to be alone again”.
Opening Match: Sarita vs. Velvet Sky
Sky snaps off a hurricanrana. They exchange chops in the corner and Sky connects with a dropkick. Sarita avoids a DDT and takes control. Sky comes back with a bulldog and a chinbreaker. Sarita responds with a tiger driver for the win at 4:03. Honestly not bad. The knockouts’ matches have been coming off as more competitive and that’s definitely a step in the right direction. *½
Douglas Williams and Kazarian are arguing backstage. Ric Flair books a match between them for later. Cameras show Christy Hemme having microphone problems. She asks for a new one and a microphone drops from the ceiling, hinting at Mr. Anderson.
Match #2: Max Buck, Jeremy Buck, and Tara vs. Jesse Neal, Shannon Moore, and Mickie James
Neal catches Jeremy with a springboard crossbody and Moore adds a slingshot senton. Max gets caught with a neckbreaker from Neal but Jeremy dropkicks him off the apron. The heels isolate Neal until he causes some miscommunication and makes the tag. Mickie hurricanranas Max off the top rope. Neal takes out Jeremy with a plancha. Moore lands a moonsault onto Max. Mickie and Tara start brawling. Ink Inc. hit their neckbreaker-samoan drop combination on Max for the victory at 5:47. Solid action for the time given. I have some confidence in the Mickie/Tara match at Turning Point and hopefully they deliver. **
Generation Me and Tara attack their opponents after the match.
Eric Young and Orlando Jordan are in couples’ therapy backstage. You think I’m kidding. They talk about who leads the team and who is “on top”. This is outrageously funny. That’s my weekly example of sarcasm.
Team 3D and the Motor City Machine Guns are backstage talking about their match at Turning Point. They agree to bring their best effort and have friendly yet competitive banter.
Jeff Jarrett makes his way to the ring. He says that Kurt Angle is weak for trying to attack Eric Bischoff and Ric Flair. He advises Angle to go home where he can be “all alone”. Sick burn. Jarrett apologizes to Samoa Joe for not attacking him further. Joe will receive a chance for revenge this Sunday. Jarrett finally berates the fans for their “you sold out” chants, claiming that he “bought in”. He starts to leave but Joe pops out from under the entrance ramp and starts attacking him. Joe connects with a knee strike and fights off Gunner and Murphy. Jarrett is able to escape without suffering any further damage. Joe takes out the rest of his frustration on Gunner and Murphy. He angrily looks at Jarrett on the entrance ramp.
Match #3: TNA World Television Title: AJ Styles © vs. Rob Van Dam vs. Rhino
I don’t understand why Styles would willingly defend the Television Title considering his faction basically controls TNA. Rhino throws Styles to the floor but gets sent into the ring steps. Back in, Styles blocks a springboard move from RVD with a dropkick. RVD monkey flips Styles across the ring. Rhino misses a Gore. RVD spin kicks Styles and sends him to the outside. He goes for a dive but Rhino stops him. Styles takes them out with a springboard forearm and rolls up RVD to retain his title at 3:51. This match centered around the finish, which came off sloppy. It didn’t add any dissention between RVD and Rhino, although they played it off that way. *
EV 2.0 comes out to separate RVD and Rhino. RVD punches Raven. Tommy Dreamer has had enough and asks RVD what’s wrong. RVD accuses Dreamer of knowing the identity of Bischoff’s plant. Dreamer challenges him to a match at Turning Point. RVD accepts the challenge.
Match #4: Kazarian vs. Douglas Williams
Ric Flair joins commentary. They wrestle to a stalemate. Beer Money walk down to ringside. They battle over a test of strength and Kazarian connects with a few kicks. Williams answers with an uppercut but gets caught with a springboard crossbody. Kazarian falls victim to an overhead suplex. Kazarian whips Williams into James Storm, who was on the apron. Kazarian rolls up Williams for the win at 4:05. The finish was extremely contrived, as Storm looked like an idiot for randomly appearing on the apron. As a result, I’m not totally buying the dissention in Fortune. Also, the match was wrestled at a slow pace and was essentially the first third of a good match. ¾*
Beer Money start pushing Williams after the match. Flair enters the ring to mediate the situation. Kazarian and Williams reluctantly shake hands.
The second part of couples’ therapy is shown. Orlando Jordan admits that he is bisexual in a rather pointless segment.
Match #5: Abyss vs. D’Angelo Dinero
Dinero charges the ring and they start brawling immediately. Abyss catches him with a boot and lands a corner charge. The action goes to the floor where Abyss starts attacking fans. The referee calls for a disqualification at 2:03. Purely used for storyline advancement. ½*
Agents and security hold Abyss back. Dinero grabs the microphone and challenges Abyss to a lumberjack match at Turning Point. Dinero says that the lumberjacks will be TNA fans. What gives Dinero the right to make match stipulations? Anyway, Abyss accepts the challenge.
Robbie E. and Cookie cut a promo in the parking lot. He is bringing home the X Division Title on Sunday. Just paraphrasing.
Eric Bischoff makes his way to the ring. Jeremy Borash does ring introductions for his match against Mr. Anderson. Bischoff’s intro is lengthy and extremely subjective. Anderson’s intro features nicknames such as “the President Obama of head trauma”. Bischoff starts attacking Borash until Anderson’s music plays. Matt Morgan comes out instead and connects with the Carbon Footprint on Bischoff. He covers Bischoff and the referee counts to three. Morgan signs the contract to face Jeff Hardy at Turning Point. Ric Flair comes out and yells at Morgan, who has already left through the crowd. Flair claims that Morgan is going to the pay the price at Turning Point.
Overall: I’m going to bring back of an old concept where I look at how this episode built towards each match at Turning Point individually:
Hardy/Morgan— This match wasn’t revealed until Reaction…three days before the pay per view. The main event of Turning Point wasn’t revealed until THREE DAYS before the show…on REACTION. Although Morgan has received some build, this match cannot mean any less.
Jarrett/Joe— The segment between these two was fine this week, but I can’t really look forward to this match on Sunday due to the high probability of a screwy finish.
RVD/Dreamer— This match has been built by various members of EV 2.0 inadvertently coming into conflict with RVD. While the action might be decent, we’re probably going to end up with another contrived finish. I hope I’m wrong.
EV 2.0/Fortune— The quality of this contest will depend on EV 2.0’s enthusiasm. Hopefully everyone brings their best effort in what may be the end of this feud.
Motor City Machine Guns/Team 3D— This match wasn’t heavily promoted on Impact but I don’t know if it needs much build. Team 3D will try their hardest to go out with a bang and the MCMG should give them a good outing.
Lethal/Robbie— Besides a short promo by Robbie, this match received no build this week. Hopefully Robbie can showcase most of his offense on Sunday.
Dinero/Abyss— I hate the fact that this is a lumberjack match. In a storyline sense, Dinero should have no power to make his own matches, especially when they involve someone from Immortal.
Tara/Mickie— This has the potential to be the best Knockouts’ match in quite awhile. The division has been taken more seriously as of late and hopefully these two come through.
The only matches at Turning Point that I have any interest in are Team 3D’s retirement match and the Knockouts’ showcase. Everything else is either extremely contrived or predictable. There is no excuse for revealing the main event of a pay per view three days beforehand. Impact was rather mundane tonight and the same will probably be said for Turning Point come Sunday night.
