CHIKARMY Insider with Rance McGrew! (Aniversario Results + Triple Shot Preview)

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Welcome to a gimongous new edition of CHIKARMY Insider, part of which is coming a week late! Yep, those Aniversario weekend results are finally here. I’d tell you I already explained why it’s a week late, but it was on a podcast that hasn’t seen the light of day. Come to think of it, a podcast I did before that one vanished into thin air as well. Call R-Truth! Call “The Body”! I got a conspiracy on my hands! Moving on, there are a couple of news items, a rundown of the colossally important & pleasantly fragrant Midwest triple shot and two beautiful banners that should tenderly tuck your eyeballs into the back of your head. Whatever that means. FALCON ARROW!

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1. First Time Ever #1: Brodie Lee d. Hieracon (5:39). Unsurprisingly, “Big Rig” puts down Hieracon in fast fashion with his Running Liger Bomb.

2. Non-Title Match: Archibald Peck w/ Veronica d. Frightmare (10:31). In his Easton debut, Marchie Archie steals one over the current YLC champion after a low blow and a face first suplex called Unchained Melody. This will more than likely earn him a title shot.

3. Tag Challenge: Obariyon & Kodama d. Dasher Hatfield & Sugar Dunkerton (6:38). Obariyon drops Dunkerton with his trusty Deep Impact DDT, availing The Throwbacks of their point and earning one for The Batiri.

4. First Time Ever #2: UltraMantis Black d. Chuck Taylor (9:30). The battle spilled outside…literally. They went outside the building at one point. In the end, Mantis pinned Taylor with the Praying Mantis Bomb in a ridiculous match, giving Black even more momentum heading into the 12 Large: Summit.

5. First Time Ever #3: Eddie Kingston d. Sinn Bodhi (6:43). Kingston rolls once again, catching the leader of The Dark Army with a guillotine choke for the dubya.

6. Grudge Eight-Man Tag: BDK (Ares/Sanchez/Haze/Hammermeier) d. Madison Eagles & The Colony (24:12). Ares gets the win for his team, pinning Green Ant with the Toblerone Driver in a very long match.

7. 12 Large: Summit A Block: Hallowicked d. Mike Quackenbush (18:50). The student upsets the teacher as Hallowicked gets the win over Quack after reversing a submission into a cradle for three. Said to be an incredible match with some really strong mat work. Wicked gets two points in the A Block bracket and Quack gets the goose egg.

8. Losing Team Disbands: Scott Parker & Shane Matthews d. Vin Gerard & STIGMA (14:28). The UnStable are no more after losing this grudge tag match. A huge brawl erupted at the beginning. Near the end of the match, STIGMA abandoned Gerard after he ordered STIG to go after Shane’s girlfriend. This allowed Matthews to plant Vin with a piledriver and pin Gerard with one foot, giving 3.0 one point as well.

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1. First Time Ever #1: Jakob Hammermeier d. Dasher Hatfield (6:12). The BDK’s ring announcer continues his tradition of not only doing his own intros but coming out dressed to mock his opponent, as Jakob was wearing a big, fake mustache. Pinkie Sanchez runs out with a chair, distracting Papagiorgio and allowing Hammermeier to hit Good Night From Jakob off the top for the victory.

~ Post-match, Ares & Claudio Castagnoli come down to sing Jakob’s praises and put over The Bruderschaft. However, 3.0 interrupts and we have an impromptu contest!

2. Tag Challenge: Ares & Claudio Castagnoli d. Scott Parker & Shane Matthews (8:01). Jagged & Big Magic show their resilience, with Parker kicking out of a stiff European Uppercut and Shane breaking up the Inverted Chikara Special on his partner. In the end, Parker tried La Magistral on Ares but the mastermind of the BDK reversed it for three and the victory, once again stealing a point from 3.0.

3. Tiny Titans Collide: Grizzly Redwood d. Hieracon (6:40). Wearing an Amasis mask in honor of his injured Osirian brother, Hieracon unfortunately can’t put The Grizz away, eating a brainbuster and a three count.

~ Between matches, fans litter the ring with Slim Jim’s in honor of “Macho Man” Randy Savage. AWESOME.

4. Grudge Six-Man: Sinn Bodhi, Obariyon & Kodama d. UltraMantis Black, Hallowicked & Frightmare (12:13). Fans are apparently not feeling Bodhi at all, and not in a booing, loudly jeering kind of way. It’s more of a boredom, dead silence thing. Yikes. At one point, Frightmare hit the Kneecolepsy on all three members of The Dark Army. In the end, Kodama pinned Frightmare with a flying blockbuster but UltraMantis absolutely lost it afterwards, obliterating The Dark Army and planting Obariyon & Kodama with Praying Mantis Bombs!

5. First Time Ever #2: Archibald Peck w/ Veronica d. Sugar Dunkerton (13:01). Peck was nearly pinned by a basketball. Yet another invisible basketball game broke out. Yeah, “fun” doesn’t do this justice. Sugar was defeated after a Veronica baton shot and a diving headbutt (the Cranial Crescendo, if you must know) from Peck, who continues his winning ways. Quite the bad guy win streak going tonight…

6. One on One: Eddie Kingston d. Chuck Taylor (16:30). Fans are huge behind both guys. Chuck distracted Eddie at one point by claiming that Blackjack Marciano was in the crowd, which he totally wasn’t. Taylor hit a big dive to the outside and kicked out of a lot of big moves, but ultimately fell to the guillotine choke. Said to be an awesome match.

7. 12 Large: Summit B Block: Vin Gerard d. Brodie Lee (7:15). Brodie is massively over with the fans. Lee hit a huge dive to the outside, bending Vin across the Ace Arena guardrails. Gerard stole the victory though, taking the eyes of “Big Ring” and catching him with a cradle for the dubya. Gerard now has two points and Brodie, surprisingly, rests at none. Fun match.

~ It’s announced that September 18th, Chikara Pro will return to Manhattan……at The Highline Ballroom!

8. Main Event Six-Man: Fire Ant, Soldier Ant & Green Ant d. Amazing Red, Joel Maximo & Wil Maximo (11:46). A can of bug spray was a factor in this match, which was pretty lucha-heavy. Near the end, Green Ant hit a top rope slam on one of the Maximos. Fire Ant pinned Wil after the Ant Hill for three and the victory for the reigning King of Trios winners.

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Chikara’s (Updated) Upcoming Schedule!

June 24th – The Case of the Bulletproof Waldo – Chicago, IL

June 25th – A Demon in His Pocket – Taylor, MI

June 26th – The Evil That Lies Within, Part 4 – Cleveland, OH

July 30th – Chikarasaurus Rex: King of Sequel (Night 1) – Reading, PA

July 31st – Chikarasaurus Rex: King of Sequel (Night 2) – Philadelphia, PA

August 27th – Young Lions Cup IX (Night 1) – Easton, PA

August 28th – Young Lions Cup IX (Night 2) – Easton, PA

September 18th – Martyr Yourself to Caution – Manhattan, NY

October 7th – Small But Mighty – Burlington, NC

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Chikara’s Southern Debut Now Out On DVD!

The first post-Trios show is now out on DVD! Engulfed in a Fever of Spite took place May 14, 2011 in Burlington, NC. It featured The Throwbacks taking on Los Ice Creams, Tursas versus UltraMantis Black in a grudge match that had everyone talking, Delirious against Hallowicked in a battle of former friends and tag champions, F.I.S.T. versus Team Frightning, Jakob Hammermeier doing battle with “The War King” Eddie Kingston, a main event featuring King of Trios winners The Colony taking on the nefarious Batiri and three more matches from Burlington! Buy It Here!

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Ophidian Wins Fan Voting, Enters 12 Large: Summit!

When Amasis went down with a serious injury, Director of Fun Wink Vavasseur was tasked with finding a replacement for him in the 12 Large: Summit. Arguments could be made for an outside choice, a replacement within the voted wrestlers or even a big battle royal to determine it. However, Vavasseur decided to solve the problem from within, The Portal that is. A six day poll was held to vote for a replacement: Ophidian, who Wink continually belittled, and Hieracon, a pet project of Vavasseur’s. In the end, the longer-tenured and more accredited man won, with Ophidian taking over eight percent of the vote. As stipulated, the former Campeon de Parejas and Rey de Voladores winner is now in the tournament!

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Results From The Chikara Reps Tour Of Osaka Pro!

Speaking of Ophidian, he, Icarus and Tursas have returned from a successful tour of Osaka Pro. After a week of fighting their own battles, the three men came together in a six-man tag for their final night to represent the company. They didn’t win the match (Ultimate Spider Jr. pinned Icarus with La Magistral), but nonetheless impressed the fans in attendance. Tursas was especially prominent, wowing fans by attempting a top rope moonsault! In the end, Tursas ended up being the only man who wasn’t pinned on the tour, amassing a 3-1 record. Ophidian went 3-2 and Icarus, perhaps due to some overzealous rudo work, ended up 2-3. For more info on the tour and complete coverage of Osaka Pro, please visit Osaka Holiday Paradise. It is, in this writer’s opinion, the most devoted and comprehensive Japanese wrestling site on the web.

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Fire Ant and UltraMantis Black have squared off in many different matches with many different stipulations, and on June 24th they’ll be able to not only add “singles match” to the list, but “memorial title tournament match” as well. They have battled in two separate battle royals, a Cibernetico, tag matches, six-mans, eight-mans (including the only time The Neo Solar Temple ever fielded a full quartet), ten-man tags in both the United States and Japan, and even a match for the Campeonatos de Parejas. To date, that has been Mantis’s only shot at Chikara gold. With some unexpected help from Ares, Fire & Soldier Ant put Mantis and his partner Delirious down two falls to none to retain the titles. They have only been in the ring together once since, an aforementioned battle royal that they had no interaction in. Now, with a shot at future gold on the line, Fire Ant, a man who has done and won almost everything there is to win in Chikara, will go one on one against UltraMantis, a man who, for all his boasting and blustering, has never held a title in his career.

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Since this match was announced, Chikara fans have been savoring the idea of Sara Del Rey beating the absolute mess out of Chikara’s most prominent rudo, Icarus. Kicks to the legs, chops to the chest, punches to the face…most Chikarmy members seem to expect the Ick Man to not only lose, but go down like a candy-less piñata, too. However, it might surprise them to learn that the “Winged Ring Warrior” actually holds a winning record over Del Rey. He was on the winning side of the most recent Cibernetico match pitting Chikara originals versus the Bruderschaft and holds two victories over “Death Rey” in six-man tags. In their only two other exchanges, an Elimination Tag and the Countdown Showdown, neither managed to eliminate the other. So while Del Rey could conceivably have the advantage in striking, strength and submissions, the Ick Man always finds a way to win. With two points in the 12 Large tourney on the line, the stakes couldn’t be higher.

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“I’ve been resting since the Aniversario weekend, enjoying the sweet taste of victory.” Jakob Hammermeier wrote on the Chikara blog. “First, a little revenge on the ants (in your face, Green Ant!) und then I threw a no-hitter against Dasher Hatfield in a clean win, fair und square! After mein hard fought victory over Dasher Hatfield, mein trainers came out to sing mein post-game praises, which made me the happiest boy in the world! Which brings me to mein point. Now, as all of you can plainly see, mein wrestling has been steadily improving after every match I have. This of course, has everything to do with the world-class training that both of mein trainers have been bestowing upon me. I trained personally with Ares before Aniversario, only to be met with success in the ring all weekend long. Now with the Young Lions Cup tournament in the semi-distant future, I humbly am asking you, Claudio Castagnoli, for some field training to prepare me to bring the YLC back to the rightful place of the BDK. It is high time the BDK reclaims the RESPEKT of all the CHIKARA locker room. Let us destroy CHIKARA’s best in tag team competition!” Claudio was happy to oblige, it seems, as the highest and lowest totems on the BDK pole will team together for the first time, facing perennial losers Hijo del Ice Cream & Ice Cream Jr. Seriously, Los Ice Creams have won exactly one contest since unsuccessfully challenging F.I.S.T. for the Campeonatos. That’s a single victory in the past four years. This isn’t “field training”, as Jakob put it. This is as close to a sure-thing as you can find in wrestling. Still, I’d hate to be Jakob if the Ice Creams find a way to pull one out…

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For a very long time, two of Chikara’s most well-known stars were also know for being without a single championship victory in the company. For years, UltraMantis Black has been a broken record of unbridled rage: to control the gold is to control Chikara. He never tasted a title though, losing every tournament and championship that he sought. Unlike Mantis, Eddie Kingston was motivated by personal conflict rather than titles and tourneys. His battles with Larry Sweeney, Tim Donst, Hallowicked, Claudio Castagnoli and countless others became the stuff of legend, but his stamp on the company was limited because of his lack of esteemed achievement. That all changed for Eddie last year, as he took down Claudio and Tursas to claim the Torneo Cibernetico. He has broken through and wants to continue his winning ways in the 12 Large: Summit tournament. Eddie and Mantis have not battled in singles competition in eight years, with both holding a solitary pin over the other. Black, still without a signature win, seems hell-bent on making this tournament his legacy. He pinned Tursas, beat Chuck Taylor on Aniversario weekend, shredded the stable of men he’s feuding with and has been on a warpath for quite some time now. Sound familiar? They clearly share a lust for brutality and a passion for combat, but they were also two of the late Larry Sweeney’s closest friends in Chikara. Both would surely like to honor him by standing tall at the end of everything, and this match may well determine which man it will be.

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In yet another tournament-granted first-time match-up (hyphen overload!), Mike Quackenbush will square off with Wrestle Factory student Ophidian. This was intended to be Quack versus Amasis, which would clearly have spun off into a half hour of some of the craziest dance moves you’ve ever seen. Or, you know, not. Still, planning for Amasis and getting Ophidian presents incredible challenges. “The Funky Pharaoh” is known for a bit of high-flying mixed with a strong puroresu presence, possessing perhaps the most potent elbow strikes in the company. Ophidian relies heavier on the flying but also has quite an adept ground game, with ssseveral sssssinister sssssssubmissions in his arsssssssssenal. Now, a potential strike exchange with Amasis becomes a hold-for-hold mat clinic against Ophidian. Luckily, Quack can work any style required and should give Ophidian fits on the mat. The last time the two met, in an Elimination Match at last year’s The Germans. Quack planted Ophidian with an Avalanche Butterfly Suplex and pinned him. Ophidian does hold a huge pinfall over Quack though: the deciding fall in a match for The Portal’s Campeonatos de Parejas, way back in 2009’s Behind the 8 Ball. Ophidian also holds the edge in that Quack hasn’t been much of a singles wrestler the past few years, having only faced Green Ant and Sal Rinauro in solo contests since 2009. Still, he beat them and hadn’t lost a singles match before losing to Hallowicked last weekend since 2008, when he was upended by Claudio Castagnoli in their last encounter. Ophidian, holding wins over Hallowicked, Arik Cannon and Frightmare in past years, clearly wants win the 12 Large: Summit for his fallen teammate, and he could do so without having actual being voted into it!

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As Chikara stated on its Twitter, a return Michigan was made possible by CLASH Wrestling, a Midwest promotion seemingly cut from the same cloth as Chikara Pro. In return, Chikara will be showcasing the promotion in a huge “champions versus contenders” six-man tag match! Gavin Quinn, the current CLASH Champion, will team with current CLASH Tag Team Champions Tommy Treznik & Ded Vaughn will take on former Young Lions Cup tournament competitor Cameron Skyy and teammates Joey Marx & Bryce Benjamin, together known as Too Sweet. Obviously, a win by any man here could earn future bookings in the company, a slot in this year’s YLC tourney or even a delicious brisket-stuffed coffee cake. Don’t knock it ‘til you’ve tried it.

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Perhaps no battle that Eddie Kingston will have in the 12 Large: Summit tournament will be as violent as the one between himself and former ally Brodie Lee. Before 2009, King and Lee had never wrestled with or against each other. But Kingston, Lee and Grizzly Redwood, initially listed as the Blue Jeans Squad, formed the Roughnecks and beat the Neo Solar Temple to earn a spot in the 2009 King of Trios tournament. Unfortunately, their first-round opponents were none other than Team Uppercut. Dave Taylor, Claudio Castagnoli and Bryan Danielson rolled through them (Grizzly specifically) and the ‘Necks were all but dead before they even began. They’d reunite a month later, losing to Incoherence in a six-man tag. After that, Brodie and The Grizz retained the name while Kingston went at it alone. Since then, the two have never crossed paths. They are probably the two most vicious workers in Chikara and, thanks to the 12 Large, we’ll get to see them finally fight it out!

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With the UnStable officially done, Vin Gerard is looking to move past the faction that, while starting with a roar, died with a gasping whine. He will do so by tagging with a few familiar faces, in particular that of Chuck Taylor, his cousin. They’ve teamed in Chikara on three occasions, naturally losing all three contests. Joining Vinnie and Chucky will be F.I.S.T. teammates Icarus and Johnny Gargano., making their first appearance as a trio since losing in the finals of this year’s King of Trios. It would probably be a lot easier to move past the failure as a triumvirate if they were not tasked with facing the very team that beat them in the finals once again. Fire Ant, Soldier Ant & Green Ant have been absolutely on fire this season, winning Trios, earning a tag title shot and generally rolling over every team they’ve faced. They will team with Mike Quackenbush, marking the first time that Quack has teamed with three Colony members since Greenie joined their ranks. Back when Worker Ant was the third man, Quack and The Ants teamed on three occasions, including a Torneo Cibernetico. They won all three matches. Numbers don’t lie, folks: UnF.I.S.T. is unfortunately in prime position to repeat their own history.

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Writer’s Note: So as you can see, the two banners below show the Current Chikara Champions and the up-to-date announcements and results regarding the 12 Large: Summit. These stay updated every time something new is announced. So no matter when you read the column, the information will be current. That’s the plan anyway. Also, this is most likely the last CHIKARMY Insider for a couple of weeks, as I REALLY need to focus on doing DVD reviews again. At the very least, the column will be back in time to fully rundown the Midwest shows the week before the events. No worries there. Enjoy the banners!

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Please leave any comments or questions you might have and I’ll do my best to respond with as many hypnotic Japanese lullabies as I can conjure. I’d like to do a contest or something cool like that, but I’m not sure how much interest there’d be. Let your voice be heard! Also, let me know if there’s anything you’d like to see in the column, like fantasy booking, treasure hunts, wish-lists, secret handshakes, etc.

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