This week: Better late than never, this week’s recap is here. Which is a relief, because in time honoured tradition I promised to quit WWE if I failed to complete it. And we all know, that stipulation is binding and unbreakable. Which I can only assume is why it’s so successful and why it keeps being resorted to every couple of months. Plus, The Rudos Of Raw, The Great Yoshi Tatsu, Sin Cara habla inglesa and I mourn for Percy Watson’s missing OH YEAHs.
RAW SUPERSHOW
– CM Punk opened the show. Punk said he was different and that he didn’t have a filter between his mouth and his brain. He said that made him a target, because he pissed a lot of people off. Punk brought up his match with R-Truth tonight, but wanted to talk about Kevin Nash instead. He called Nash the soul crushing status quo. Punk still didn’t buy that Nash and HHH weren’t in cahoots, despite the shove last week. He called Nash out. One shrill woman in the crowd really didn’t seem to like Punk.
– Nash came out, saying he did what he wanted, when he wanted. Punk made fun of Nash, calling him “Super Shredder”, which some people actually got. Nash said every time he was in the ring, he left Punk laying. And HHH did Punk a favour by cancelling their match. Punk told him 1994 was the last time he was relevant. Nash started to walk to the ring, when Triple H intervened. Nash told HHH to get rid of Punk. Instead, HHH said he’d found out the truth, as to who sent the text message. Turns out, Nash sent Nash the text message. Makes sense to me. Nash started claiming he made the WWE cool and exciting again. That probably wasn’t supposed to be amusing. Nash said either he or Punk had to go. HHH admitted he didn’t like Punk, but Nash had done nothing but lie to him since coming back, so he teased firing Nash. Nash theorised it was all over the push on Smackdown and started goading HHH, until HHH laid him out with a right hand and fired him. Which Punk found highly amusing.
– As Nash stormed out of the arena, Laurinaitis got in Nash’s limo with him.
– Air Boom d. Great Khali and Jinder Mahal (Bourne pinned Mahal) in 3:15. Quite the match up of guys here. Bourne took a beating, but got the tag to Kofi. Khali pulled the rope down on Kofi. But Khali then accidentally gave Jinder the chop, leading to Bourne picking up the victory with Air Bourne.
– Alberto and Ricardo showed up backstage.
– #1 Contendership: Beth Phoenix d. Eve Torres in 2:07. Both Kelly and Natalya joined in on commentary. Winner of this got the Divas Title match at Night Of Champions. They brought up the WWE.com story about Beth and Natalya saving the Diva’s division. Beth won decisively with the Glam Slam. Natalya attacked Kelly from behind after the match for good measure.
– Drew McIntyre spoke to Christian backstage. Christian said he deserved one more match at the World Title, when Alberto walked up, wanting to talk to him. Alberto blamed John Cena for Christian not being the World Champion. Christian said if he wanted to take out Cena, it’d be on his terms, but Alberto managed to convince Christian that Cena was to blame before leaving him to think about it.
– Truth cut a promo on the way to the ring, saying Punk wasn’t different, because he’d been speaking the truth his entire life. Miz interrupted Truth, wearing quite the suit. Miz told Truth there was a conspiracy against them and HHH was more concerned with his friends than them. So, he’d do HHH’s job for him and challenged Bourne and Kingston for the Tag Titles at Night Of Champions. Miz and Truth made fun of the name Air Boom, before Truth promised that Punk was going to GET GOT.
– CM Punk d. R-Truth in 9:44. Miz and his suit stuck around outside to watch. Punk hit a dive on Truth, which Miz almost got caught up in the crossfires of. But Miz distracted Punk as he got back in, giving Truth time to recover and jump Punk. Miz got physically involved later, clipping Punk’s knee on the floor. The focus stayed on the leg from Truth. Punk caught Truth up top and delivered a superplex. Miz ended up grabbing Punk’s leg near the finish and Miz got thrown out by the referee. Punk then caught Truth with the GTS for the win. Crowd got into the closing stretch.
– After the match, HHH came down to the ring. Punk told HHH he didn’t believe him and Nash weren’t still in cahoots. HHH said Nash was gone and he’d changed the match at Night At Champions. He told Punk he wanted to hurt him, so it would be No Disqualifications. Punk said he was fine with that, saying he’d been hitting people with sledgehammers for years and hadn’t killed a single one, so he wasn’t scared. But Punk had a stipulation too. If HHH loses, he resigns as COO. Ah, the ol’ you lose, you’re fired stip.
– Backstage, Wade Barrett was talking with Tyler Reks and Curt Hawkins. They claimed they were about to start something huge. I can’t remember the last time either had a match, so no time like the present. Alberto sent them away and reminded Barrett that Cena beat him in 5 minutes on Smackdown. Wade said he didn’t need to bother giving him an incentive to go after Cena. Which Alberto seemed happy about.
– Jerry Lawler and Zack Ryder d. David Otunga and Michael McGillicutty (Zack pinned Otunga) in 2:08. Lawler insulted Otunga and McGillicutty for being boring again and said his partner was bursting with personality. They then played a Zack hype video before he came out. They actually showed a couple of his ‘insider reference’ jokes. So, outrage over, Zack Pack. Crowd were into Ryder. Zack started, then it was Lawler who came in off the hot tag. After King hit the fist drop, Zack called him over for the tag and put Otunga away with the Ruff Ryder.
– Alberto was still talking people into targetting Cena. This time, it was Dolph Ziggler. The Bellas came up and flirted with Del Rio. Alberto reminded Ziggler of Cena making fun of Vickie and implied Vickie was looking at managing Swagger because she needed someone who’d fight for her.
– Randy Orton d. Heath Slater in 2:54. Pretty easy win for Orton. Slater got some offense in so it wasn’t a total squash, but Orton soon launched into his comeback and won with the RKO.
– Cena and Zack did a quick skit backstage, allowing Cena to make a sarcastic comment at Rock’s expense. Cena then went to the ring, to call Del Rio out. Ricardo introduced Alberto, who drove out in his suit. He said he was trying to give Cena a fighting chance, by not hurting him like he did Rey Mysterio. He explained he didn’t show up last week to protect Cena. And tonight, he wasn’t going to fight Cena for the same reason. Instead, Del Rio had “the rudos of Raw” to fight for him. Wade and Swagger hit the ring, soon joined by Ziggler and Christian, for a four on one beatdown. However, Alex Riley, Sheamus and John Morrison ran out to even the sides. Teddy Long came out to make an eight man tag team elimination match between them all.
– Elimination Match: John Cena, Sheamus, John Morrison and Alex Riley d. Wade Barrett, Christian, Dolph Ziggler and Jack Swagger in 14:21.
Swagger submitted Morrison
Swagger submitted Riley
Sheamus pinned Barrett
Sheamus and Christian were counted out
Cena pinned Ziggler
Cena submitted Swagger
Things started with Riley and Wade, then picked up when both Morrison and Ziggler tagged in. The Raw Rudos struck first, as Ziggler capitalised on a distraction from Christian and put the sleeper on. Swagger tagged himself in and put the ankle lock on, forcing Dolph to leave the ring and Swagger to steal the submission from under his nose. Leading to an arguement between the two, as Vickie came out to ringside. The heel team then went 4 to 2 up, as Swagger again tagged himself in and tapped Riley with the ankle lock too. Sheamus came in and took the fight to the heels and was briefly overwhelmed, but fought back to eliminate Wade after a Brogue Kick. Christian almost took Sheamus out immediately with a spear. He then made the mistake of slapping Sheamus and got chased all the way around ringside and up the ramp, causing both to be counted out as they fought. Leaving Cena two on one with Vickie’s charges. Crowd got into Cena, as Swagger and Dolph eventually cut him off. Cena was able to come back on them briefly. But the match swung when Ziggler tagged himself in on Swagger, in retaliation for the two times Swagger did it earlier. Ziggler was hit with the AA and Swagger left him to be pinned. Swagger then put the ankle lock on Cena, but Cena reversed into the STF to win the match. Fun multi man main event.
– Alberto tried to ambush Cena straight afterwards, but Cena caught him with the AA too and Alberto had to be helped away by Ricardo.
NXT
– Jack Korpela took over Todd Grisham’s seat. Darren Young came out and said NXT was over. Don’t tease me! Darren said he’d already won, because he was the best in the ring. There was no Striker, thanks to him. Young thanked Regal for saving Striker before he got himself fined, suspended or fired for what he would have done. Regal got in the ring and told Darren he was going the wrong way taking liberties with guys like Striker and he wouldn’t allow it. Darren took exception to Regal and they set up a match between the two. Regal said he wasn’t doing it for Striker, or himself, but for Young.
– Titus O’Neil and AJ d. Derrick Bateman and Maxine (Titus pinned Bateman) in 5:16. Titus beat on Bateman early, forcing Bateman to tag Maxine. And since it was a mixed tag, that forced AJ to be tagged in. AJ and Maxine seemed to work pretty well together. The guys got tagged back in and as things broke down, Titus pinned Bateman with the sky high. This was perfectly fine.
– Bateman and Maxine argued as they were walking backstage, blaming each other for the loss. Maxine blamed Bateman for spending all morning perming his hair. Outraged, Bateman yelled that his hair was all natural. They eventually agreed to take out Hornswoggle. Bateman told Maxine it was hot when she schemed against leprechauns and they kissed.
– Striker replaced Regal on commentary as Tyson Kidd cut a promo in the ring, saying someone had been playing mind games with him the past couple of weeks. He called out Yoshi Tatsu for being responsible for it. Yoshi did come out, but it was a different looking Yoshi Tatsu. He had black gear, a mask during his entrance and half his face was painted. Looked pretty cool. Somewhat Great Muta-esque.
– Yoshi Tatsu d. Tyson Kidd in 10:22. Yoshi showed a more aggressive side to go with his new look. He used plenty of strikes to attack Tyson with. Tyson hung in and gave the fight back to Yoshi, able to gain the advantage by sending him into the dasher board. Tyson controlled the match for a while. Yoshi had some new moves in his repetoire, including the Mutoh power drive elbow and a yakuza kick in the corner. Yoshi got his knees up to block a springboard elbow drop by Kidd. Yoshi was then able to block a super hurricanrana and got the win with the spinkick off the top.
– William Regal d. Darren Young in 6:50. This was fun. Regal gave Young a beating and had some fun with ‘playing by the rules’, or not, as the case may be. Regal even did some commentary mid-beating, trying to get Young to apologise to Striker. Young eventually reversed a whip into the corner to turn the tide and gain some control. Regal came back and gave Young some sneaky kicks in the corner while talking to the referee, in a great spot. Finish saw Regal put Young in the Regal Stretch, but JTG tried to make the save. So Striker took JTG out. Regal then finished Young off with the Knee Trembler instead.
SUPERSTARS
– Mason Ryan d. JTG in 3:08. Yep, Mason Ryan is back. And he’s a babyface now that Nexus is no more. Mason overpowered JTG, so JTG tried to take his knee out. Which wasn’t enough to stop Mason running through him, on route to a quick win with a pumphandle slam.
– Curt Hawkins and Tyler Reks d. Titus O’Neil and Percy Watson (Reks pinned Titus) in 3:46. Well, I guess that answers my question from earlier in regards to Hawkins and Reks. Percy Watson is not quite the Percy Watson of NXT season 2 days. Which makes me sad. There was a time when Showtime Percy Watson was the greatest thing in pro wrestling. They mentioned Titus and Percy were both former NFL prospects. Reks dropped a little of the dark, brooding character here. Titus has definitely got something explosive about him on offense that stands out, even outside of NXT. So that’s promising. Hawkins and Reks won with a double team slam/neckbreaker move.
– Alicia Fox d. Tamina in 4:28. Guess this confirms Alicia is a face now. Tamina dictated much of the match, but Alicia won after avoiding a Superfly splash and hitting the scissors kick.
– Brodus Clay d. Allen Turner in 1:24. Another Brodus squash, easy as ever. Crossbody won it as usual.
– Daniel Bryan d. Heath Slater by submission in 11:43. Mat wrestling early. Which, of course, Bryan got very much the better of. After being stretched out for a while, Heath mounted some brief offense. Which went a little better than against Orton on Raw. He managed to escape the Labell Lock, before hanging Bryan across the top rope and following up with a dropkick. Slater finally got something going and controlled Bryan for a while. But Bryan recovered and broke out the suicide dive. After some fairly even back and forth at the end, Bryan was able to come out with a mounted guillotine choke for the submission. Pretty good.
SMACKDOWN
– Mark Henry cut a promo, about the Hall Of Pain. He told anyone who thought his best years were behind him, to ask Big Show, or Kane. He promised Randy Orton would get ‘inducted’ at Night Of Champions. Henry said the beating he gave Orton last week was a good start and there was more of that to come. He called himself more dangerous and reckless than he’s ever been. As Henry spoke, Zack Ryder interrupted him, of all people. He offered to be broskis with Mark. Henry asked if he had a death wish. Zack told him that both he and Orton would have matches tonight and there was a no contact rule, so they couldn’t interfere. As Zack tried to leave, Henry called him back in. He thanked Zack for the heads up, then asked Zack who he thought would win at Night Of Champions. Zack jokingly said Beth would beat Kelly, but Henry didn’t seem amused. He tried to leave again but Henry collared him and threatened Zack, so Zack tried to get the jump on him while he could. Bad move, as Henry laid him out with the World’s Strongest Slam.
– Mark Henry d. Ezekial Jackson in 2:59. Match started with a test of strength, which is instant bonus points. Henry got the better of it, so Zeke tried to take the fight to him and went for the Torture Rack, but couldn’t get Henry up. Henry posted Zeke outside and Jackson never came back from that, finished off with the World’s Strongest Slam.
– Teddy was in his office, when Aksana’s sexy music came in. Aksana wanted to do the ring announcing again, but said that wasn’t the only special thing she could do with her mouth. Ahem. She meant singing, by the way.
– Sin Cara d. Tyson Kidd in 3:32. The match was mainly spent discussing what Sin Cara did to Daniel Bryan last week. Cole basically dared Josh to ask Sin Cara about what he did, after the match. Turns out, Cole can speak Spanish pretty well. Sin Cara hit a big crossbody to the floor on Tyson. Tyson used a hiptoss into the turnbuckles to turn things, but Sin Cara recovered to score the win with his senton/lionsault combination.
– Josh did, in fact, try to interview Sin Cara afterwards. Josh asked him a question, unsure if Sin Cara could understand him. Turns out, Sin Cara can speak English! The fact he was wearing a mask made everything he said sound mumbled, but I’m pretty sure it was mumbled English, at least. Sin Cara said he’d held back out of respect until now, but now nobody was going to stop him. He said the aggressive side of him was the real Sin Cara. Daniel Bryan interrupted, saying he didn’t see Sin Cara speaking English coming, just like he didn’t see the kick last week coming either. He said Sin Cara clearly didn’t respect him, so now they had a problem to rectify. Bryan challenged him to a rematch next week. Sin Cara responded by cheapshotting Bryan, then forcing him to tap to his own Labell Lock.
– Striker interviewed Orton backstage about his match with Cody. Orton said Cody had changed, but not for the better. He said both he and Cody had been called unstable. He said Henry attacking him last week was smart and was at the peak of his career. But, Orton said an RKO would stop him.
– Kelly Kelly d. Natalya in 2:57. Natalya had Beth at ringside with her. Beth kicked back and watched with interest, as Natalya attacked on the outside. Natalya controlled the entire match. But as she went for the Sharpshooter Kelly countered with a roll up to steal the win.
– Christian came out, saying that the next match and all matches there-after had been postponed, because he had a problem with Teddy Long. Christian said he was forced to compete on Raw against Sheamus and John Cena and was the victim of an illegal double team in that match, which cost him his Cage Match 24 hours later against Randy Orton. Despite being ahead on the score cards. Christian said he deserved one more match. But Sheamus interrupted him, telling him this was getting embarrassing. He made fun of Christian, which Christian didn’t appreciate. Sheamus told him he had a match he really wanted to get started and that he wasn’t going to get another title shot, so he should get out of the ring. Christian did just that.
– Sheamus d. Wade Barrett by DQ in 6:55. Lots of brawling in this one. Pretty physical. The crowd really seem into babyface Sheamus. Sheamus hit a flying shoulder block off the top, but Christian ran in and attacked Sheamus to cause the disqualification. Sheamus tried to fight off both guys and Christian bailed, leaving Wade behind to get hit with the Brogue Kick. Christian tried another sneak attack and Sheamus got him up for the Celtic Cross, but Christian managed to escape and bail again.
– Air Boom d. Great Khali and Jinder Mahal (Kofi pinned Mahal) in 3:12. A rematch we all needed to see. To be fair, there wasn’t really anything wrong with it. If anything, it was better than on Raw. But, it basically served the exact same purpose, Khali argued with Jinder and Khali shoved Jinder into Trouble In Paradise. Khali walked out on Jinder post match as well.
– Randy Orton d. Cody Rhodes in 10:54. Before the match, Cody cut a promo saying he was still an inspiration. Cody said he tried to inspire Ted Dibiase, but Ted was happy being Ted so Cody dropped him. He said Orton’s interview earlier had inspired him to show just how unstable he could be tonight. This was World Champion versus Intercontinental Champion, for those not sure. And it was pretty evenly played out. Cody tried to get a quick roll up win on a couple of occasions. Cody used the mask to deliver a headbutt, gaining the advantage. A springboard kick from Cody, after avoiding the draping DDT, sent Orton outside. Cody focused on Orton’s left arm. Orton fought back. And after countering Crossrhodes and the Beautiful Disaster, Orton came up with the RKO to win a fun main event.
– Mark Henry came down afterwards and it broke down into a fight. Henry was able to counter the RKO and laid Orton out with the World’s Strongest Slam. Not once but twice. Henry then grabbed a chair and sat on Orton, choking him under the chair while telling him he could have broken his leg, but he wasn’t going to because he was coming after his title instead.
The best part about this column is I get to read about NXT and Superstars. I wouldn’t even remember these shows existed if not for this column.