Allentown, PA – 3.10.2012
(If you have the Billy Joel song “Allentown” playing through your head for the entirety of this review, you and I have a lot in common.)
Commentary is provided by Mike Quackenbush, Bryce Remsburg, Leonard F. Chikarason, Gavin Loudspeaker, UltraMantis Black, and ORANGE CASSIDY!
Gran Akuma vs. STIGMA
Loads and loads of history between these two. I think this is the first time they have met where STIGMA was a Rudo and Akuma was a Tecnico. Akuma kicks STIGMA’s leg when STIGMA refuses to lock-up. STIGMA throws Akuma down in a waistlock. A sloppy quesadora armdrag and a headscissors take STIGMA to the corner. STIGMA blocks Akuma’s back elbow and German suplexes him out of the corner for two. STIGMA rakes the eyes. STIGMA gets two with a senton. STIGMA uses Akuma’s own fallaway kick for another two count. STIGMA chops Akuma to block a slingshot move. Akuma courting holds his way out of a hip toss. Akuma rolls up and hits a dropkick. Akuma enzuigiri’s STIGMA from the apron. He comes back in with a huracanrana. A discuss clothesline fires Akuma up. STIGMA blocks the Yoshi Tonic. He kicks out Akuma’s leg and hits That Japanese Move for two. Akuma slips out of the Stigmata. He hits a fallaway kick of his own. A nice rolling Death Valley Driver leads to the Yoshi Tonic, giving Akuma the pin at 7:03. A sloppy moment or two aside, that as a solid outing from both men. STIGMA looks to have dropped a few pounds and might be a little more nimble because of it. Akuma seems motivated and I of course dug all the small callbacks to their history thrown in throughout the bout. **1/4
Saturyne comes out to address the crowd. She reminds us that at the first Wrestling is Fun show Los Ice Creams jumped her from behind. Tonight, she has found a proficient tag team partner to help her get her revenge: Green Ant. Green Ant comes out and says that he and Saturyne will have no problem melting Los Ice Creams in the main event.
UltraMantis Black & Hallowicked vs. Obariyon & Kobald
Kobald forearms Hallowicked from the apron. Hallowicked sends Obariyon to the floor and goes after Kobald. Kobald and Obariyon each chop Hallowicked on the floor. Hallowicked baits the Batiri into chopping each other. Back in the ring, Hallowicked kicks Kobald from the apron. He slingshots in with a schoolboy for two. Mantis holds Kobald so Hallowicked can chop him on the floor. Mantis gets in a shot at well. So do some of the fans in the crowd. Kobald goes to the eyes so he can tag in Obariyon. Mantis comes in causing Obariyon to retreat to the corner. Obariyon throws some punches in the corner. Mantis alita’s Obariyon into a back bridge for two. A trifecta of bodyslams sends Obariyon out. Mantis shrugs off an ear slap from Kobald. However, the distraction allows Obariyon to hit a running crossbody. The Batiri decide to wear down Mantis in their corner. Bryce and Quack make UHF references on commentary, making me very happy. Mantis side steps a spear in the corner. He then backdrops Obariyon to tag in Hallowicked. Hallowicked cleans house and gives Obariyon the Go 2 Sleepy Hollow. Kobald spears Hallowicked. Mantis gives Kobald the Cosmic Doom. Obariyon gives Mantis the reverse Go 2 Sleepy Hollow. Hallowicked catches Obariyon on the top rope. He goes for Go 2 Sleepy Hollow, but Kobald chop blocks Hallowicked. Obariyon hooks the tights to get the pin at 8:10. Surprisingly hot tag action, and very similar to the quality of match you would see these two teams have in CHIKARA. I don’t get why Kobald looks timid in CHIKARA yet seems to do a lot better when not in CHIKARA. **3/4
Shazza McKenzie vs. Jack Bonza
What we have here is Australian inter-gender action with weird theme music for both participants. Bonza is not taking McKenzie seriously. He tells her to get back in the kitchen after rubbing his forearm in her face. Bonza rubs his hand in her face in a patronizing manner. Bonza asks for a kiss and gets rocked with a forearm instead. McKenzie rolls him up for two. She prawn holds him for another two count. Bonza scoop slams her. McKenzie kicks away at Bonza. Bonza grabs her leg and throws her to the mat in a splits position. Bonza powers her up into a torture rack, kicking her in the head with her own leg. Bonza’s delayed vertical suplex gets a two count. McKenzie slaps Bonza a few times before forearming him into the corner. McKenzie huracanrana’s him across the ring. Bonza counters a headscissors with a gutwrench suplex. He locks on a kneeling STF for the submission victory at 5:54. I know it’s not CHIKARA, but I find it so weird that this match played into gender norms when CHIKARA has done a commendable job in breaking them. It’s not necessarily bad, but overplayed and weird. There were a lot of awkward moments in the match. Really the only thing of note is how strong Bonza is. *
Dragonfly vs. “Mr. Touchdown” Mark Angelosetti
Angelosetti tackles Dragonfly into the corner instead of shaking his hand. Angelosetti cradles him for two. Angelosetti leapfrogs over Dragonfly and hits a dropkick for two. Angelosetti whips him to opposite corners. Angelosetti suplexes Dragonfly. He runs some drills, splashing on Dragonfly multiple times in the process. He ends the drill with a knee drop. Angelosetti slams him and gets a one count with an arrogant pin. Angelosetti smacks Dragonfly in the face. He lays in some palm strikes to Dragonfly’s mid-section. Dragonfly comes back with some chops. Angelosetti catches Dragonfly on his shoulders. Angelosetti changes directions as he comes off the ropes and charges through Dragonfly. Angelosetti tries to bring his football in the ring. Referee Jon Barber gets rid of it. This does not stop Angelosetti from popping Dragonfly up into a spinebuster for the pin at 4:52. That was a long squash, but Angelosetti’s character is entertaining enough to make it work. For a guy who hasn’t wrestled full time in ages, Dragonfly still looks quite good. *1/2
Angelosetti calls out “Quacken-nerd” (Mike Quackenbush) who is by the commentation station. Angelosetti makes fun of Quackenbush for being a nerd, pointing out that he just killed one of Quackenbush’s nerds which he trained 10 years ago. He suggests that one day in Wrestling is Fun that they have a match. Quackenbush says next time they’re in Allentown, they will meet one-on-one. That’s a match I very much look forward to. But now with Quackenbush being hurt you have to wonder just when this will be paid off.
Dasher Hatfield vs. Ophidian
Hatfield side steps Ophidian’s initial charge. Hatfield delivers a beautiful armdrag and backdrop. Ophidian rolls to the floor when he sees Hatfield winding up. Ophidian side steps a baseball slide. Hatfield back elbows him into the crowd. He begins sitting fans, sercurity, and Gary Walter from Smart Mark Video onto Ophidian (just like in Canada). In the ring, Hatfield drop toe holds Ophidian into the bottom rope. Hatfield runs around the ring and dropkicks Ophidian in the side of the head. Hatfield sets up for the Grand Slam. Ophidian grabs his throat to block. Ophidian choke STO’s Hatfield to the canvas. Ophidian chokes him on the middle rope. Both men exchange chops. Ophidian chokes Hatfield with his hands. He then snapmares Hatfield into a Dragon kick. Ophidian grabs Hatfield’s trapezius muscles. Ophidian kicks Hatfield in the chest and in the back of his head. Hatfield double knuckle locks Ophidian and throws him overhead. Hatfield transitions from a back breaker into a Jackhammer for two. Ophidian side swipes an underhand chop. He O’Conner rolls Hatfield while holding his tights. He gets two and Hatfield reverses for a two count of his own. Hatfield backslides Ophidian for two. Ophidian puts on the Death Grip. Hatfield rams him head first into the corner. Ophidian keeps the Grip on regardless. Hatfield uses the ropes to roll back and pin Ophidian’s shoulders to the mat (ala Hart/Piper from Wrestlemania VIII) for the pin at 8:35. That was just as good as their match from Canada. I’m starting to think that Hatfield is the most underrated guy on the roster. He’s been quietly stepping up his game and I’m not sure how many people are noticing. He and Ophidian just work well together. **3/4
Johnny Ego comes out for his match. He was the one non-CHIKARA student who I said should be brought back to Wrestling is Fun from the first show. I’m glad to see he’s back. He reminds us that he lost to Dasher Hatfield at the first show, but has done some soul searching since then. He found the best manager he could. Not only is he a manager, but a war hero. This brings out Dr. Colonel Nolan Noisewater out in a wheelchair. Yes! This guy is entertaining as heck in AIW so I’m pleased as punch to see him in Wrestling is Fun. Noisewater puts down the crowd and hypes up Johnny Ego.
Fire Ant vs. Johnny Ego
Ego is very happy with himself for winning a wristlock exchange. Fire Ant blocks a hip toss with an armdrag. Fire Ant pops up so he can give Ego a quesadora armdrag. Ego whips Fire Ant to the corner and lays in some forearms. Fire Ant sends Ego to the corner with the Stop, Drop and Roll. He dropkicks Ego to the floor. Noisewater checks on Ego and calls Fire Ant a cheater. Ego chops Fire Ant. Fire Ant throws back some chops of his own. Noisewater trips Fire Ant allowing Ego to punt him in the arm. Ego smartly works over Fire Ant’s arm. Ego even throws Fire Ant to the mat by his mask and chokes him when Noisewater has referee Bryce Remsburg distracted. Fire Ant goes for a sunset flip but gets stomped on the face. Ego wrenches the arm in the ropes. Ego misses a splash in the corner. Ego kicks Fire Ant away and dragonscrews his arm into the mat. Ego twists on the arm some more. Fire Ant delives an antzuigiri to create some distance. Fire Ant throws a few flying forearms. He throws Ego out of a fireman’s carry. He hits the Yahtzee Kick and a tornado DDT for two. Noisewater again grabs Fire Ant’s leg. Ego rolls him up for two. Ego turns Fire Ant inside out with a clothesline. Ego gets two with a modified Angle Slam. Fire Ant antzuigiri’s Ego after Ego jumps off the top rope. Ego blocks the Beach Break with a divorce court DDT. Ego puts on a short armscissors. Fire Ant sends Ego to the floor and suicide dives after him. Noisewater tries to run over Fire Ant. When he checks on Ego, Fire Ant winds up for a punch. He thinks better of it, but Noisewater stands up from the wheelchair and shoves Fire Ant into the ring post! Ego brings Fire Ant back in the ring for the pin at 12:44. I am totally sold on the Ego/Noisewater pairing. I was quite entertained by them all match. To his credit, Fire Ant was an awesome babyface in peril that added a lot to the equation. ***
Jigsaw vs. Kodama
Kodama bails to the floor before even locking up. He tries to bring a chair in the ring but Bryce Remsburg stops him. Jigsaw punches him in the mouth after a snapmare. Kodama elbows his way out of a waistlock. Jigsaw hops over Kodama and delivers both a flying forearm and a dropkick. He gets two with a quesadora backbreaker. Jigsaw bounces off the ropes with an armdrag. He rolls Kodama into a dropkick, sending Kodama to the floor. Kodama side steps a baseball slide. He dropkicks Jigsaw to the apron and hits a slingshot tope con hilo. Jigsaw hits Kodama with a soda bottle. Kodama hits Jigsaw with some fliers on the chairs. Jigsaw also uses a CHIKARA yearbook (available digitally at Amazon). Kodama snaps his neck across the top rope. Some rapid headbutts to the chest and punches to the face help Kodama wear Jigsaw down. The same little kid from earlier tonight punches Kodama. Kodama however is able to come back in with a slingshot huracanrana. A low Blockbuster gets him a two count. He hits a slingshot legdrop on the apron and applies a headlock on the mat. Jigsaw uses his elbow to fight free. Kodama throws Jigsaw to the mat by his mask. Jigsaw evades a corner attack. He enzuigiri’s Kodama from the apron. Jigsaw hits a high crossbody, which also hurts his mid-section. Jigsaw pump kicks him for two. Jigsaw double stomps his back for two. Jigsaw tries for an Ace Crusher, but Kodama shoves him off and delivers a neckbreaker instead. Both men fight for position. Kodama ends up hitting a twisting suplex for two. Kodama tries for the Flying Blockbuster. Jigsaw catches him and hits the brainbuster for two. Kodama rolls away from a double stomp. Kodama kicks Jigsaw to the corner and follows up with a cannonball dropkick for two. Jigsaw catches Kodama with a Michinoku Driver for two. He goes for the Jig N’ Tonic when Obariyon and Kobald hit the ring. They attack Jigsaw, causing Bryce to ring the bell for the DQ at 11:45. That was far more competitive than I expected. That is the one thing I do like about Wrestling is Fun; the younger students get the proper chance to shine and hone their skills. This was actually really good until the DQ finish, but even then it builds up a story which is something else I wanted to see out of WiF, so I can’t complain that much. ***
The Batiri keep attacking Jigsaw. Jigsaw superkicks Obariyon which sends them packing. Jigsaw informs the Batiri that next time he won’t be coming to WiF alone.
Green Ant & Saturyne vs. El Hijo del Ice Cream & Ice Cream Jr.
Hijo tries to attack before the bell. Green Ant not only fights him off, but also manages to use Los Ice Creams to hurt one another. Jr. gets angry and smacks Hijo, causing Hijo to cry. They make amends and try to double hip toss Green Ant. Green Ant sends Los Ice Creams to the floor and pescado’s onto Jr. Los Ice Creams almost get into a verbal argument with some children in the crowd. Hijo ends up raking Saturyne’s eyes in the corner. She cartwheels off the top rope and hits a spin kick to Hijo’s chest. Saturyne comes off the top rope with an armdrag. Saturyne takes Hijo down with a headscissors. Jr. knees Saturyne from the apron. She dropkicks him to the floor but gets caught with a lariat from Hijo. Saturyne armdrags Hijo to the corner. She wastes too much time celebrating and ends up being slapped in the face. Los Ice Creams work Saturyne over, occasionally hitting her with a foreign object we cannot see. She finally escapes their grasp by forearming Jr. off the apron and dropkicking Hijo. Green Ant tags in. He scoop slams and splashes Hijo. Jr. breaks the count. Green Ant delivers a flying headbutt to Jr’s chest. Green Antmisses a corner attack. He does however splash Hijo in the corner. Saturyne also hits a corner spinwheel kick and a double dropkick with Green Ant. Jr. knees Green Ant from the apron. Hijo snaps Saturyne’s neck on the top rope. Saturyne gives Hijo a quesadora bulldog. Green Ant pulls Jr. off the apron and discovers Los Ice Creams were using a banana as a foreign object. The distraction allows Saturyne to hit an Ultra Huracanrana on Hijo for the pin at 14:16. This was a good blend of comedy and action to end the show. Saturyne would be a good partner for The Colony at times in CHIKARA. I wonder if her multiple matches with Los Ice Creams in CHIKARA and in WiF are actually going somewhere, or if the powers that be just like that pairing. **1/2
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