This Week on IMPACT Wrestling:

  • The “Championship Thursday” format returns and new TNA World Heavyweight Champion Jeff Hardy will be making his first defense in the main event against a man of Hulk Hogan‘s choosing. Mr. Anderson, Kurt Angle, James Storm, and Bully Ray are all potential contenders and will attempt to convince the Hulkster they deserve a shot the most.
  • But that’s not all when it concerns championships; in addition to Hardy, Rob Van Dam will defend the X-Division Title against Zema Ion and Tara will defend her Knockouts Title against Miss Tessmacher in two Bound For Glory rematches. Ion and Tessmacher both lost their belts at the event and are looking to once again reign supreme in their respective divisions.
  • The Aces and 8’s drama continues as Hogan, Ray, Sting, and others attempt to find a way to combat Devon and the rest of the biker gang as they take full advantage of the “full access” they have to the Impact Zone.

*****

*Event Recap*

Previously on IMPACT Wrestling: The Aces and 8’s open and close last week’s show with a giant brawl, Austin Aries warns new World Champion Jeff Hardy that he’s going to “pick his moment” for a rematch, and a whole lot of Championship Thursday hype.

Jeff Hardy is talking with Hulk Hogan in his office. Hogan thanks Hardy to bringing TNA to another level and says he’s going to put him to the test tonight for Championship Thursday. Hogan asks Hardy if he’s ready for the challenge and Hardy says he’s ready and whoever Hogan chooses will be in for the fight of their life. Hogan thanks Hardy for everything he’s done for TNA.

Hardy exits the office and runs into the four possible contenders for the title as it goes slow-mo and we get Hardy’s inner thoughts on each one. He says each one has a weakness and he has to find it.

  • Thoughts: Hardy’s “inner monologue” had me rolling and I couldn’t hear some of the stuff he was saying from laughing so hard. Ridiculous but at the same time good on TNA for trying something different. Just…I hope they never do this again.

The pyro goes off at the Impact Zone, and X-Division Champion Rob Van Dam immediately makes his way out for the opening contest. Jeremy Borash and another announcer named Todd Keneley are apparently here to commentate for the first hour. His opponent Zema Ion makes his way out to the ring.

Match #1: Rob Van Dam (c) Vs. Zema Ion for the TNA X-Division Title

 RVD and Ion struggle to gain the advantage to open the contest until Ion finally begs off. Side headlock by Ion. RVD breaks out and takes him down with a leg scissors. RVD hits a gorilla press followed by a couple of moonsaults. He goes for the pin. 2-count. Ion rolls to the outside and soaks in the adulation of the crowd. Baseball slide by RVD, but Ion pulls him out after and throws him into the guardrail. Ion rolls in and goes for a high flying move but RVD gets to the apron and hits him with a side kick. RVD attempts a flying crossbody but Ion ducks and out he goes to the floor. Ion follows it up with a somersault dive onto RVD.

Ion rolls him back in and poses on the apron. RVD grabs him by the hair but Ion drops him throat-first on the top rope. Ion follows it up with the spinning DDT and goes for a pin. 2-count. Ion heads to the top but misses the corkscrew splash. Springboard kick by RVD followed up by the Rolling Thunder. RVD heads to the top and connects with the Five Star Frog Splash for the 1…2…3!

Winner and STILL X-Division Champion [via Pinfall]: Rob Van Dam (4:33)

  • An alright opener. Their Bound For Glory match was way better but that shouldn’t be surprising. This Todd Keneley guy, however, was a highlight; he called the match beautifully and didn’t distract from the action. Where have this been hiding this guy? (C)

RVD’s celebration is cut short by Matt Morgan and Joey Ryan. Morgan knocks RVD out with the Carbon Footprint and Ryan holds the X-Division Title high. Morgan grabs the mic and tells Hogan to be careful what he wished for in terms of Hogan’s words to him last week. Morgan throws the mic down and Ryan drops the belt on RVD before they exit the ring.

Austin Aries is outside the deliberation room for Championship Thursday. Aries mocks them for having to beg for the title shot when he has a guaranteed rematch. Aries mocks Hogan’s filmography. Aries says he’s going to stay outside of Hogan’s office and get their reactions as they are eliminated from contention.

*Commercial Break*

Christopher Daniels/Frankie Kazarian make their way out to the ring. Daniels is carrying a clipboard. Kazarian says it’s fitting that Halloween is around the corner since they’ve gotten a lot of tricks but no treats. Kazarian says he and Daniels are the victim of a conspiracy. Kazarian says Hulk Hogan altered his travel last week, leaving Daniels at a severe disadvantage during his triple threat match last week. A loud “You suck!” chant rains from the Impact Zone. Kazarian says that their tag team titles were taken illegally at Bound For Glory but two people who are probably in this country “illegally”.

Daniels grabs the mic immediately and hands Kazarian the clipboard. He says that others are getting championship matches tonight but they aren’t so it isn’t really Championship Thursday. Daniels calls Chavo Guerrero Jr./Hernandez a couple of manipulators for trying to appeal to the Latino crowd. Daniels says they should call themselves “Dos Stereotypicos”. Daniels says they’ve got a petition, hence the clipboard, and are going to get signatures from the Impact Zone in order to get a rematch. Kazarian goes to gather the signatures, and out come the TNA World Tag Team Champions to answer to Daniels/Kazarian’s wild accusations.

Chavo says he and Hernandez are happy to help them with their petition. Chavo says nothing would make them more happy than to give Daniels/Kazarian a rematch so they could shove the belts right down their throats or whatever. Chavo/Hernandez then clear the ring of the former World Tag Team Champions of the World. Chavo and Hernandez sign the petition and say that they will face them any place at any time.

  • Thoughts: Daniels bringing up Chavo’s Eddiesploitation was very apt and very true, and I’m glad someone finally brought it up. Also “Dos Stereotypicos” is the best tag team name ever. Good segment from these guys.

Championship Thursday Deliberation, Part 1

Hulk Hogan asks the four contenders as to why they deserve a shot. James Storm says he’s tired of taking a back seat and it’s his time. Bully Ray is too busy steaming about Devon joining The Aces and 8’s to really care about this. Kurt Angle says if he didn’t get injured he would still be champion and says he hasn’t had a shot since last year. Mr. Anderson is annoyed and says that he isn’t going to grovel again. Hogan then immediately kicks him out, saying Anderson doesn’t have the fire.

Austin Aries catches up with Anderson and says if he was champion he would’ve given him a shot no problem. Aries says he’s better than Anderson and throws his drink in his face. Anderson and Aries then brawl outside of Hogan’s office. Anderson yells at Aries for having the gall to say he’s the bigger asshole. Anderson then challenges him to a match tonight and they both laugh at one another.

  • Thoughts: So Mr. Anderson questions this process, which is admittedly stupid, and Hogan makes sure he’s booted first? That’s quite a power trip move. Plus since Ray isn’t even concerned with this whole thing, he should in theory have been eliminated first. The Aries/Anderson brawl after was better than the deliberation but I’m not exactly thrilled to see them wrestle later tonight.

*Commercial Break*

Devon is at the Clubhouse with a bunch of the Aces and 8’s for a meeting. Devon tells them to never get their masks taken off because they are their “identities”. Devon then gets down to business: he’s got some ladies here to entertain them tonight but before that they need to take somebody out tonight. One of the members throws a dart at the TNA Roster dartboard and they all laugh. We don’t know who it is obviously.

  • Thoughts: Um…alright.

Robbie T, along with Robbie E, makes his way out for the next championship match. His opponent, TV Champion Samoa Joe, makes his way out next.

Match #2: Samoa Joe (c) Vs. Robbie T (w/ Robbie E) for the TNA Television Title

Robbie T sends Joe into the corner but misses a splash. Joe chops at him but Robbie T takes it. Joe then tries to take him off his feet but fails and gets a forearm to the face for his troubles. Robbie T beats on Joe in the corner, but Joe starts fighting back with a series of strikes. Joe hits the ropes but Robbie T catches him with an awkward looking spin kick. Joe blocks a chokeslam and starts locking in the Kokina Clutch but Robbie E distracts the ref. Joe reapplies the Kokina Clutch, but Robbie T flattens him in the corner. Joe then goes for the Kokina Clutch for the third time and Robbie T falls to the mat to stop it. But it doesn’t and Joe applies it for the final time on the mat. Robbie T quickly taps.

Winner and STILL Television Champion [via Submission]: Samoa Joe (2:16)

  • A really short squash match but a nice showcase for Joe and his ability to put the Kokina Clutch on no matter what comes at him. Joe continues to look like a killer and it was fun to watch him keep chipping away at the larger Robbie T. Bonus points for Robbie T’s attempt at a spin kick too. (C)

Impact Hype: Jeff Hardy makes his first defense of the World Title tonight!

*Commercial Break*

Bound For Glory 2012 Flashback: Tara beats Miss Tessmacher to win the Knockouts Title then makes out with her “Hollywood” boyfriend Jessie Godderz.

Miss Tessmacher is backstage. She says it’s been torture waiting for her rematch but loved seeing Godderz get manhandled by ODB last week. She then says she’s ready to send Tara and Godderz back to Hollywood on the D-List tonight.

Championship Thursday Deliberation, Part 2

Kurt Angle says Bully Ray isn’t focused on the championship shot tonight and he would be in the same boat. Hogan asks James Storm if he thinks Ray is focused, and Storm also thinks he’s not really in the moment. Ray says he’s focused on the Aces and 8’s and if he isn’t fighting for the World Title tonight he’s going to confront Devon tonight. Hogan tells him to take care of his brother, eliminating him from title contention.

  • Thoughts: Why even give him the shot if he wasn’t even focused on it in the first place? Whatever. I’m hoping Storm gets the title shot anyway.

Mr. Anderson is yelling at a P.A. and says he’s sick of Austin Aries then yells at the P.A. to “go get ’em!” That match is next!

*Commercial Break*

Mr. Anderson is already in the ring as we come back from commercial. His opponent, Austin Aries, gets the actual entrance. He isn’t wearing the cape.

Match #3: Mr. Anderson Vs. Austin Aries

Anderson shoves Aries and yells “COME ON, BITCH!”. They lock up and Aries puts Anderson against the ropes. Anderson blocks the cheap shot and lands one of his own, leading Aries to regroup on the outside. They lock up once again once Aries gets back in the ring. Aries backs Anderson in the corner and shoves him. Anderson shoves back, sending him to the mat. Aries slips out of the senton suplex, but Anderson hits a series of rights to make up for it. Aries rolls to the outside once again to stop the momentum.

Aries rolls back in and gets a quick waistlock. Anderson elbows out then pulls out a pair of brass knuckles. The ref takes them, allowing Aries to clothesline him from behind. Aries boxes Anderson’s ears in the corner and whips him across the ring. Aries misses a splash and Anderson responds with a series of rights. Anderson connects with a bodyslam and follows it with an elbow drop. Anderson goes for the pin. 2-count.

Aries grabs a headlock out of nowhere and gains the advantage with a series of forearm shots. Aries throws Anderson through the ropes and to the floor. Aries hits Anderson with a suicide dive through the second rope then celebrates on the apron as we go to commercial.

*Commercial Break*

Aries is still in control as we come back from the break. Aries whips Anderson in the corner and follows it with a running elbow. Aries with a left to Anderson’s head and he falls to the mat. Aries connects with an open hand chop but Anderson starts fighting back with strikes of his own. Aries is sent into the corner but gets his boot up, knocking Anderson to the mat. Aries connects with a knee to the back of Anderson’s head and goes for the pin. 2-count.

Anderson starts fighting back with a series of rights and turns Aries inside out with a clothesline. Discus clothesline by Anderson followed by a neckbreaker. Anderson picks Aries up but Aries slips out. Aries ducks a kick but Anderson hits him with an enziguri. Nice. Anderson then launches himself over the top and onto Aries. He rolls him back in and goes for the pin. 2-count. Anderson tries for the senton fireman’s carry but pulls the ref down to escape. Aries brings the knucks in but Anderson ducks. Aries throws them to Anderson and the ref questions him once he’s back up, allowing Aries to get his own. He hits Anderson with them, feigns being pinned for a 2-count by Anderson, then locks on the Last Chancery for the knockout win.

Winner [via KO]: Austin Aries (12:40)

  • A far better match than I expected. Anderson seemed more motivated than usual in this contest. The whole ending sequence was pure heel gold from Aries and an interesting way to finish the match. Dug this in all the ways I can dig a match. (B)

Tara and Jessie Godderz are meeting with Brooke Hogan backstage. Tara asks what she’s gonna do about ODB and Hogan says ODB beat her fair and square. Tara then freaks out about it, saying she got fresh with her man and it flustered her. Godderz says it took 12 tomato baths and the stench still isn’t off. Hogan then tells Tara to worry about her defense against Miss Tessmacher. Tara storms off and Hogan stops Godderz to tell him ODB has her eye on him.

Mike Tenay and Taz come in to take over on commentary for hour number two. It’s time for the Knockouts Title match.

Miss Tessmacher makes her way out for the Bound For Glory rematch. Knockouts Champion Tara makes her way out next alongside Jessie Godderz.

Match #4: Tara (c) (w/ Jessie Godderz) Vs. Miss Tessmacher for the TNA Knockouts Title

Tessmacher attacks Tara right at the bell. A series of kicks followed by a pin attempt from Tessmacher. Snapmare by Tessmacher followed by a kick to Tara’s back. Tessmacher sends Tara face-first into the mat repeatedly. Tessmacher continues the assault in the corner. Godderz distracts Tessmacher on the apron, allowing Tara to attack from behind. Tara then does the same “mid-section kicks/face-first into the mat” combo that Tessmacher used. Bodyslam by Tara, who then eskimo kisses Godderz on the apron. Tara misses the somersault legdrop and Tessmacher begins her comeback. Couple of clotheslines followed by a running forearm from Tessmacher. Tessmacher then gives Tara the “stink face” in the corner followed by a faceplant. Tara grabs on referee Taryn Terrell allowing Godderz to open the ropes and let Tessmacher crash to the floor. Godderz rolls Tessmacher back in and Tara connects with the Widows Peak for the 1…2…3!

Winner and STILL Knockouts Champion [via Pinfall]: Tara (3:50)

  • A throwaway title defense given the fact Tenay/Taz wouldn’t shut up about ODB. The action itself also wasn’t that interesting as they both used the same exact moveset on one another (so many midsection kicks, guys!). Oh well at least Tessmacher didn’t magically regain the belt like the last time. (C-)

Tara and Godderz continue to celebrate in the ring until Brooke Hogan makes her way out to break up the lovefest. Hogan says next week’s Open Fight Night and says ODB wants to challenge…Jessie! Hogan wishes him luck sarcastically and walks away. Godderz hugs Tara out of fear.

  • Thoughts: That might actually end up being pretty entertaining.

Bully Ray heads to the ring to confront his “brother”…right after this commercial!

*Commercial Break*

Joseph Park catches Hulk Hogan in his office. Park brings up their conversation last week and wants to know Hogan’s answer. Hogan is hesitant on giving him a chance to fight the Aces and 8’s, and Park asks if he’s more concerned about Hogan’s health or TNA’s liability. Hogan says he’s worried about both. Park hands Hogan a piece of paper that says they will have no liability if he gets hurt. Park asks Hogan to stand behind him, and Hogan says he’ll think about it.

Bully Ray Confronts Devon

Bully Ray makes his way out to the ring. He gets on the mic and thanks Sting for letting him be his partner at Bound For Glory. Ray calls out Devon to meet him face to face and explain why he joined them. Out he comes with his Aces and 8’s cronies. The five masked guys get in first to shield Devon from Ray’s potential wrath. Ray pulls out his chain (an actual chain, pervs).

Devon says he doesn’t owe Ray an explanation because they are no longer partners and no longer family. Devon says this whole thing has nothing to do with Ray. Devon says his involvement with the Aces and 8’s has to do with Hulk Hogan. Devon talks about Hogan talking about wanting Devon back but did nothing to keep him in TNA. He says the Aces and 8’s were the ones who had his back, not TNA or Hogan. Devon promises when everything is said and done, the Aces and 8’s will take out every person that has done them wrong. Devon says Ray isn’t even a threat anymore.

Ray says it’s over when he tells Devon it’s over. Ray calls Devon a lying sack of crap. Ray says that two years ago, they were supposed to retire as tag team champs when they faced The Motor City Machine Guns but they kicked out of the 3D. Ray brings up what Devon said to him after that match: “Bubba, what the hell’s the big deal? What are you so worried about? We’re rich; screw the fans.” Ray dares Devon to deny that he said that.

Devon says he won’t deny it because it’s true. Ray says they’re doing too much talking and tells Devon to clear the ring of the other Aces and 8’s members and fight him right now. Devon refuses and tells Ray to get his head out of his ass and stop thinking the world revolves around him. Devon says he’ll let Ray know when the time is right but until then he’s going home. Devon and the Aces and 8’s exit the ring. Ray says Devon has been nothing but a coward his entire career and has no balls. Ray challenges Devon for next week’s Open Fight Night and says somebody’s going through a table.

  • Thoughts: That was a really damn good segment and the fact that Ray just turned his heel turn from two years ago into the reason why he was the good guy all along is just astounding. Both men were excellent on the mic, with Devon especially putting down some good work and making his character more compelling than it initially seemed like it would be. Ray challenging him for OFN next week is weird, since the Aces and 8’s don’t work for TNA in storyline, but it’s got me excited for next week…even though you know they won’t let it happen for free.

*Commercial Break*

Joey Ryan and Matt Morgan are stopped by the cameraman/interviewer who asks why they attacked Rob Van Dam. Ryan says RVD doesn’t scare him and says maybe it’s time to put some X-Division gold around his waist. Morgan says Hulk Hogan started this last week with his BS excuses for “holding him down”. Morgan says that from now on he’s going to do what he wants and dares him to stop him.

We get a look at the next TNA Gut Check contestant for next week: longtime pro wrestler (and a man who’s been on TNA before) Christian York. His whole angle is “I messed up back in the day and this is my chance for redemption”.

  • Thoughts: Christian York? Really? I did not see that coming. Interesting guy to pick.

Championship Thursday Deliberation, Part 3

Hulk Hogan is backstage with James Storm and Kurt Angle. Hogan says he has something huge for Storm but gives the actual title shot to Angle instead. He calls Angle “cyborg”.

Out comes Kurt Angle for the main event of the night. Angle gets ready for his title shot as we go to commercial.

*Commercial Break*

TNA World Heavyweight Champion Jeff Hardy makes his way out next. He’s got the actual TNA World Heavyweight Title with him as well as his custom one. Right on. Christy Hemme handles the in-ring introductions for the big match feel.

Main Event: Jeff Hardy (c) Vs. Kurt Angle for the TNA World Heavyweight Title

Angle backs Hardy into the corner and breaks cleanly. Side headlock by Angle. Hardy sends him into the ropes but gets taken down with a shoulder block. Arm drag by Hardy into an arm bar. Angle gets out but Hardy sends him into the ropes and hits another arm drag/arm bar combo. They get to their feet and Angle backs him into the corner. He rakes the eyes instead of breaking clean this time around. Angle sends Hardy face-first into the corner. Hardy fights his way out and beats Angle down. He goes for the pin. 2-count.

Hardy catches Angle with an inverted atomic drop on his way off the second rope and hits a double legdrop followed by a dropkick. He goes for the pin. 2-count. Hardy attempts a float over head scissors but Angle crotches him on the top rope. Angle hits a running forearm, sending Hardy to the floor as we go to commercial.

*Commercial Break*

Angle has Hardy in a side headlock as we return from the break. Hardy gets to his feet and elbows his way out. Hardy and Angle knock one another to the mat with a double clothesline. Hardy gets to his feet and mounts a comeback. Angle reverses an Irish whip but Hardy hits a flying forearm. Hardy catches Angle with a head scissor, and Angle bails to the outside. Hardy hits him with a baseball slide, followed by a clothesline from the apron.

Back in the ring, Angle reverses an Irish whip but Hardy gets an elbow up and follows it with a Whisper in the Wind for a 2-count. Hardy goes for the Twist of Fate but Angle grabs him and hits three consecutive German suplexes. Angle goes for the pin. 1…2…kick out! Hardy slips out of the Angle Slam and hits the Twist of Fate. Hardy makes his way to the top turnbuckle., but Angle runs to the second rope and hits a belly to belly suplex. Angle goes for the pin. 1…2…KICK OUT.

Angle power bombs Hardy and goes for the pin. 1…2…kick out. Hardy rolls through an Ankle Lock attempt and takes him out with a dropkick. Hardy goes back to the top but misses the Swanton. Angle measures Hardy up and connects with the Angle Slam for the 1…2…KICK OUT. Hardy elbows out of a German suplex and hits two Twist of Fates in a row. Hardy heads back to the top and connects with the Swanton for the 1…2…KICK OUT. A “this is awesome” chant breaks out.

Hardy runs at Angle but Angle backdrops him to the floor. Angle spits up blood, then rolls to the outside to roll Hardy back in. Angle pulls the straps down and goes for the Angle Slam but Hardy slides out and rolls him up for the 1…2…3!

Winner and STILL World Champion [via Pinfall]: Jeff Hardy (14:00)

  • I know it was just a spotfest that had absolutely no meat or thought to it (a bunch of finishing moves can’t put either down but a roll up can?), but whatever I still really had fun with this match. Angle’s matches are very formulaic but it’s a formula that really jives with me. I like watching him wrestle. Hardy barely scraping out a win though was weird; you’d figure his first defense as champion would end emphatically instead of a lucky roll-up. But either way I’m not going to hate on this match much; I really enjoyed it. (B)

Jeff Hardy raises both belts in celebration as we see a replay of the finish of the match. Austin Aries runs out to the ring and lays Hardy out with his own custom belt. Aries grabs a mic and announces he’s cashing in his rematch clause at Turning Point. Aries says that it will be a turning point for both of their careers: Hardy goes back to the outhouse, Aries goes back to the penthouse. Aries says he’s so confident he’s just going to take the real TNA World Title belt with him.

  • Thoughts: Well that explains why Hardy carried both belts with him tonight. The Hardy/Aries rematch headlining the next PPV was a foregone conclusion (Pro Wrestling 101, really) but I’m glad it’s officially announced. And I also love that Aries absolutely despises Hardy’s custom belt because, well, so do I. It speaks to me.

Backstage Devon and The Aces and 8’s beat the hell out of Kurt Angle until Wes Brisco and someone else chase them away. Brisco calls for help as we fade to logo.

  • Thoughts: Angle hath drawn the Dead Man’s Ha…Dart! It killed the end of the show though and took away from Hardy/Aries (which is a running theme with the Aces and 8’s). It also felt out of place, like that should have happened earlier in the show or something. Speaking of…why doesn’t Mr. Anderson want revenge against the Aces and 8’s? Didn’t they cost him a big payday by taking him out of Bound For Glory? I’m starting to really overthink this whole storyline.

Overall Show Grade: B-

  • What I Liked: The Bully Ray/Devon confrontation, Jeremy Borash/Todd Keneley announcing the first hour, Keneley making Tenay/Taz look like punks by paying attention to the action, Hardy Vs. Angle, Anderson Vs. Aries, , Aries’ post-match attack on Hardy, Samoa Joe systematically eating Robbie T alive, Christopher Daniels christening Chavo/Hernandez “Dos Stereotypicos”, the overall show.
  • What I Didn’t Like: Jeff Hardy’s inner monologue of doom, Brooke Hogan, the Championship Thursday deliberation and how it made no sense, Tara Vs. Tessmacher.

If you like the cut of Jon’s wrestling jib, feel free to follow him on Twitter and/or check out his blog The Pro Wrestling Nerd where he is currently struggling to get through 2002-era TNA. Cheex? REALLY?

 

 

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