-LIVE from Vorhees, New Jersey
Estimated Attendance: 900+
-Ultraviolent Aerial Assault- CZW World Tag Team Championship: 4 Locos ( Azrieal, Bandido Jr, and Alex Colon w/ Chrissy Rivera)(champions) vs. The Nation of Intoxication (Devon Moore, Danny Havoc, and Lucky tHURTeen)
Match in Five Words or Less: Fucking Insanity
Match Summary: Technically, Azrieal and Bandido are the champions, but this has been such a huge feud for all of 2012 that it makes sense to just have a six man tag to settle this. Quite the way to open this show, eh? Belts are hanging from the rafters so this is essentially a ladder match. Havoc tosses Colon in the ring right away. Well, the feeling out process is over. Dropkick by Havoc on Colon. Huge diving forearm. Azrieal and Moore come in next. Azrieal hits a dive. Moore hits a dive. tHURTeen and Bandido battle as the brawl goes along the outside amond everyone else. Kick by Bandido on Moore. Colon. tHURTeen takes the first stupid bump of the night as he gets sent through a pile of chairs. Havoc and Bandido exchange forearms in the ring. Tilt a whirl backbreaker into a reverse suplex that drops Bandido on his head. Moore swings from a rope and tries putting Azrieal through a table. It takes two attempts. Colon sets up a ladder in the middle turnbuckle. Havoc with a back kick. He puts the ladder around his neck and takes out the champions. Low blow by Chrissy Rivera. Havoc is German suplexed WHILE HIS HEAD IS STILL IN THE LADDER! Colon brings a table in the ring. Bandido slides and hits an overhead throw on Moore into a ladder. Kick from Bandido on Moore. Snap suplex. Wrestling? What’s that? Moore catches himself on the ropes. Low bridge on Bandido. Colon sent up and over. Moore and tHURTeen battle. Huge dive takes everyone out. Strike battle with tHURTeen and Bandido. tHURTeen swings on the rope and springboards with a tornado DDT. Bandido ends up on a pileof tables. tHURTeen climbs up to the support. Colon runs up and gets caught with a kick. tHURTeen hits a 450 through the table. And yes folks, this is the OPENING CONTEST! Moore puts Azrieal on a table. Colon sends Havoc at the rail. Moore climbs. Rivera follows. This isn’t going to end well, is it? Moore no sells a low blow because he has booze in that area. That was awesome. Michinoku driver through a table. And yes folks, this is still the opener. Rivera is gone. Obviously. Azrieal whips Moore in the corner and hits a dropkick. tHURTeen dives on someone but the camera missed it. Azrieal hits a double stomp, which leads to Colon hitting a DDT on Moore. Azrieal brings a giant ladder in the ring…barely. Enziguri on Havoc. Champions begin climbing. tHURTeen dropkicks Azrieal off. Colon gets to the belts. tHURTeen meets him. Battle. Havoc puts a plastic bag around Colon’s head, which is a callback to the match last month. tHURTeen grabs the title as Havoc puts Colon through the table.
Match Analysis: One of the most insane openers I’ve ever seen in 18 years of watching wrestling. How do you even analyze this? At least these two teams had been feuding and the insanity wasn’t completely unjustified. Bringing the plastic bag back wasn’t the worst idea since it paid off what Colon tried to do to Havoc.
Winner (s)/Rating: NEW CZW World Tag Team Champions-Nation of Intoxication/***1/2
-Pepper Parks and Cherry Bomb make their way out to the ring. The crowd establishes an immediate dislike for them. Lots of interaction with the crowd as the officials take down the various platforms, ladders, and other clutter from the opener. Cherry Bomb says they care and want to help the CZW crowd. Methinks they’re beyond saving. Parks makes fun of a crowd member in a pretty awesome way. Cherry Bomb finds a woman and says she needs to try in order to look good. The fan throws something at her. Parks talks with one more fan. Cherry Bomb asks him to take off his shirt. He does. Parks wants to see what they’re working with. The fan does jumping jacks as I prepare some Homer Simpson jokes. They head in the ring, and Parks takes his shirt off. He says the body is a temple. He kisses Cherry Bomb. Crowd chants “HIV.” Uhhhh. Solid way to just kill time if nothing else.
-Shane Strickland vs. Rich Swann
Match in Five Words or Less: Not Exactly Slowing Down
Match Summary: Strickland has snuck in two huge upset victories over Rich Swann. They start the match on the outside with a strike battle. Superkick by Swann. In the ring. Cartwheel by Strickland. Headscissors by Swann flips. Shoulder tackle. Another cartwheel. Shoulder tackle by Strickland. Off the ropes. Dropkick connects for Swann. Flipping kick by Swann. Strickland powders. Swann misses some sort of dive off the apron. Swann catches Strickland and pulls him down so the back of his head hits the ring. Strickland sent into the stairs. Chops from Swann. One misses and he chops the most. Strickland tosses him into the ring once again. Swann reverses a whip. Strickland boots him down. Strickland mocks Swann and punts him. Shot from Swann. Boot to the head by Strickland. He mocks a heckler. Series of reversals of a tombstone piledriver. Swann then drops him… for something. I don’t know what happened there. Kick to the back of the head. Knee placed in the back by Swann. Back suplex by Swann. Kick of his own. Backbreaker. Elbow drop off the middle rope gets two. Strickland sent out prone on the middle rope. Swann tosses a chair in the ring. Chop in the corner. Swann monkey flips Strickland so his back nails the chair. Sitting abdominal stretch. Roll-up for two. Strickland out of a suplex. Clotheslines. Duck of a clothesline. Gutbuster. Crowd seems mostly behind Swann. Swann sends him to the floor on the entrance way side. Boot and DDT cracks Swann’s head on the floor. Huge springboard moonsault by Strickland. Cover for two back in the ring. Swann blocks an Irish whip. Kick right in the face. Swann does a great spit take. Superkick by Swann. Strickland follows up with a dropkick to the gut. Ocean cyclone suplex. 1-2-NO! Swann sends the chair into his face. Reverse rana. 1-2-NO! Strickland put on the top rope. Leaping kick. Rana blocked. Strickland with a double stomp. Standing shooting star press. 1-2-NO! Strickland grabs the chair. Swann with a kick to the midsection. He goes for a package piledriver. Forearm by Strickland. Swann with right hands. Package piledriver and Strickland is dropped through the chair. 1-2-NO! Standing 450 and Swann wins.
Swann shows Strickland some respect and holds his hand up.
Match Analysis: Best of the three matches if you ask me. Just tremendous stuff from both guys. Strickland really stepped up this year and he could easily be a superstar by this time next year. I enjoyed the insanity. This is the only way to follow up the opener as they kept the pace up and didn’t slow down at all. This also feels like a big show given the effort.
Winner (s)/Rating: Rich Swann/***1/2
-Mama Excellent and Greg Excellent vs. Drew Gulak and Kimber Lee (w/Campaign for a Better Combat Zone)
Match in Five Words or Less: Going The Other Way
Match Summary: Mama Excellent wearing matching tights as her son is pretty hilarious. Kimber Lee is wearing a very conservative outfit. Kimber Lee says she and Mama are on the same team. Kimber Lee wants a handshake. Slap across the face. Gulak tags in. One of the CZW announcers actually made me laugh. It really is a special night. Headlock by Mama. Tag to Greg. He rubs Gulak across his body. Forearm exchange goes to the corner. Greg locks Gulak’s hands and sends his face into his lower midsection region. Alexander James tries to help Gulak with a towel. Greg with a chop. Kimber Lee nails her from behind. Mama sends Kimber Lee into the corner. Chop. Greg with a chop of his own on Gulak. Both dig into their tights and rub their faces in the heel teams’ faces. The Excellent family celebrates…I’m not commenting on that. Heels commiserate on the outside. Mama Excellent teases a dive. Greg delivers and takes out the goons. Gulak chokes Mama to massive heat. Dragon sleeper. Greg makes the save. Gulak with stomps on Greg. Double choking in the heel corner. Heat segment continues. Greg bites the arm. Dropkick by Gulak. Chops by Greg. Kimber Lee put on the top rope. Gulak attacks from behind. Greg grabs his nuts. Kimber Lee gets grabbed as well. Greg covers their faces. Kimber Lee bucklebombed. Greg takes down the straps. Mama stops her son from giving a stink face. Mama with a cannonball. Not exactly great but she’s not a wrestler. Gulak with a dropkick to the knee. He grabs Greg’s chest hair. Choke attempted. The former Niles Young tries distracting the referee. Tiger driver by Greg on Gulak after Gulak gets hit with a crutch. Double dragon sleeper and the Excellent family wins.
Match Analysis: Look, this isn’t going to win any match of the year awards, but this was honestly just a fun a match. Mama Excellent is not a great performer, but as long as she doesn’t get hurt (and never tries the cannonball ever again) what’s the harm in bringing her in once a year.
Winner (s)/Rating: Greg and Mama Excellent/**
- MY GOD THAT’S COLT CABANA’S MUSIC! He mocks Greg for being a comedian. He talks about his injured finger. On April 5 though, Cabana challenges Mama Excellent. He threatens to beat her up and says it’s either “Fight or fuck.” “Either way you’re going to be bleeding.” Greg mocks Cabana and accepts the challenge. He makes a tit reference.
-Adam Cole vs. Sami Callihan
Match in Five Words or Less: No One Wants To Wait
Match Summary: Callihan and Cole start in the back. Ladder shot by Callihan. Cole sends Callihan back first into the side of the ring. Cole placed into a chair. Running chop by Callihan. Cole gets the advantage and looks for plunder. Callihan sends him into the side of the ring. He spits in Cole’s face. Running chop but Cole gets his boot up. Garbage can sent into the ring. Callihan sent in as well. Cole misses a charge. Enziguri by Callihan. Face wash hits. A second face wash. Callihan pounds a garbage can and puts it in front of Cole’s face. Cole nails him with a trash can. Neckbreaker across his knee. 1-2-NO! Callihan placed across the chair. Cole comes off the ropes… and applies a chinlock. Bicycle kick by Callihan connects. Ladder placed in one corner. Chair in another. O’Connor roll. Cole sends him into the chair. Roll-up and he holds the tights for two. Vertical suplex blocked. Cole with a series of blows. Knee by Callihan. Back drop driver into the garbage can. Garbage can shot to the head. Another one. Cole should probably cover up there. Spitting by Cole. Headbutt by Callihan. Powerbomb into the ladder. Sweet Moses. Callihan puts a different ladder in another corner. He then sets up four chairs and puts them next to each other. Chair put on Cole’s leg. Callihan Callihan with a chair shot to the chair and Cole’s leg. More plunder. He tosses toilet paper at Cole. Callihan puts a fifth and sixth chair on top of the four chairs. There’s seven laid flat. The pile comes apart. Callihan says screw it. Low blow by Cole. Death valley driver through the ladder. 1-2-NO! Cole works on the chair pile and completes it. He does a curtsey and then flips the fans off. Awesome. Leaping kick by Callihan. Suplex through the chair pile. 1-2-NO! Callihan brings out a bag of crap. Oh God. It’s like 1999 WWF all over again. Powerbomb blocked. Cole says he’s smart. Kick by Callihan. Another boot. Powerbomb into the poop. Cole then rolls Callihan up and gets three.
Match Analysis: I loved the out of nowhere finish. I also liked that the feud is kept going with a Cole victory. They can blow this off on another show where it can be focused upon. Incredible to see Callihan wrestle a second match after the incredible Gargano contest earlier in the night. I liked the dynamic and the continued insanity. Just a lot of chaos, which keeps up with the theme of the evening.
Winner (s)/Rating: Adam Cole/***1/2
— Larry Legend (@blklkp) December 9, 2012
-New Jack says ECW has been reincarnated as CZW. He calls the CZW wrestlers crazy in not so many words. Considering who’s say this, that’s pretty amazing. He calls the locker room hard working. Jack then turns his attention to BLK Out. He puts them in an elite group of factions within ECW and CZW. He talks about the Extreme Rising PPV on December 29 and wishes everyone a merry Christmas. Well, at least that gave everyone a chance to breathe with a late intermission due to the main event.
-BLK Out (Ruckus and Blk Jeez w/Robbie Mireno) vs. OI4K (Dave and Jake Crist w/Naveah)
Match in Five Words or Less:
Match Summary: Winner of this becomes the number one contenders for the tag team titles. BLK Out nearly starts a riot with the crowd. Jeez starts with Jake. Lock-up into the corner. Slowest start to the match on the show. Crowd doesn’t seem to know what to do. Shoulder tackle by Jake. Leapfrog by jeez. Dropkick on Jake. Dave enters and knocks Jeez out of the ring. Huge dive on Jeez. Ruckus nails Dave and whips him into the side of the ring. Dave sent into the guard rail. Handspring elbow. Jeez chops Dave. Moonsault off the apron by Dave. Forearm. Ruckus chokes Dave along the rail. Running rana by Jeez. Charging foream. Superkick by Jake. Naveah gets involved and get spit on by BLK Jeez. Both teams are ready to explode. Things break down. Mireno gets involved. Officials and security begin running in the ring. BLK Out is getting into with security and fans. I haven’t heard a bell or anything.
Match Analysis: This match really never got going. I have no idea what the fall-out is going to be, but I can only assume this was done to sell the fact that the new faction in the promotion and the old faction in the promotion do not get along and will be feuding during 2013. Pretty ridiculous.
Winner (s)/Rating: No-contest/N/R
-Maven Bentley apologizes and heads to the back.
-CZW Wired Championship: AR Fox (champion) vs. Robert Anthony
Match in Five Words or Less: Anthony Couldn’t Resist
Match Summary: Anthony hasn’t been in CZW for about a year. He buries DH Hyde and the audience. He talks garbage at Fox and says he’s going to expose him. Anthony says he’s taking the title and never coming back. Basic to start. Anthony works a headlock. Applied headscissors by Fox. Anthony stands on his hand and regrabs the headlock. Fox counters into a headlock of his own. Hip toss. Exchange of roll-ups. Crucifix pin gets one. Takedown. Anthony bridges out of another nearfall. Backslide gets two. Great mat sequence there. Anthony takes a break on the outside. Boot to the midsection and elbow to the neck. Chop on the champion. Leapfrog. Dropkick by Anthony. Fox with a boot. 450 misses. He ducks a charge. Dropkick. Big dive on Anthony. Back in the ring. Forearm by Anthony. Another one as a follow-up. Fox flips in the ring. Fake of a dive. Kick flip moonsault hits. Anthony sent head first into the guard rail. Anthony placed on the apron. Leg drop hits. Tope con helo over the corner and onto Anthony. Wow. Fox tosses Anthony in the ring. Slingshot elbow only gets two. Chop. He bounces off the ropes. Anthony German suplexes the champion into the corner. Bodyslam. Cover for two. Chop by Anthony. Forearms. Backbreaker. Elbow to the back of the neck. Whip in the corner. Anthony sends Fox over. Enziguri. Fox leaps but gets caught in a backcracker. Beautiful move. 1-2-NO! European uppercut to the back. Choking along the bottom rope. Swinging suplex and a knee in the back of Fox. Backbreaker and Anthony holds it. Fox with a knee. Forearms by Anthony. Duck of a clothesline and enziguri. Elbows by Anthony. Fox follows up. Blue thunder powerbomb gets two. Anthony blocks everything Fox does. Leg sweep and dropkick by Fox. Lo Mein Rain. Anthony kicks Fox down on the floor and requests that the fans move. Powerbomb into the crowd. Wow. Fox torn back toward ringside. Fox sweeps Anthony down. Anthony sent to the rail. Running cannonball hits. Anthony sent in the ring. Springboard senton. 1-2-NO! Fox hits sliced bread. Meteora! 1-2-NO! Forearms and a kick by Fox. Discus elbow by Anthony. Fox on the top rope. Palm Strike by Anthony. Running rana. Twisting moonsault. 1-2-NO! Surfboard. He rolls Fox around the ring. Fox recovers and hits a kick. Another kick. Double stomp. Swanton. 1-2-NO! Anthony placed on the top rope. Boot by Anthony. Powerbomb straight into a cover for two. Boston crab. Fox grabs the bottom rope. Fox grabs the rope. Fox counters again and hits a shove. Bicycle kick. Cannoball. Anthony set on the top rope. Another boot. Spin kick. Forearm on a charging Fox. Lo Mein Pain out of nowhere. Fox wins.
Match Analysis: Great to see Anthony back in CZW. I’ve been fortunate to see Anthony in some very good Resistance Pro matches, but I hope a lot of other people, including CZW officials, go to see him go in a big way. I loved Anthony countering Fox so much and the pacing. This has been such a well-paced, organized show. It’s almost amazing to think CZW is the company behind it. Very good work from both men.
Winner (s)/Rating: STILL Wired Champion-AR Fox/***3/4
-Crowd gives Robert Anthony props.
-CZW World Heavyweight Championship: Masada (champion) vs. Drake Younger
Match in Five Words or Less: Battle of the Best
Match Summary: Younger has literally done it all in CZW, including being the longest reigning world champion of all-time. Masada has not lost a singles match in CZW for 19 months and even defeated Younger in the Tournament of Death finals this year. Feeling out process. Shoulder tackle goes nowhere. Armdrag by Masada. Younger holds on and turns over into an armbar. Headscissors by Masada. Armdrag into the armbar. Younger up and over out of the corner. Forearm to the back. Japanese armdrag. Crucifix and Younger makes the State Farm symbol. Masada works a headlock. Criss cross. Younger goes down. leapfrog. Masada is too big and hits a clothesline. Younger sends him up and over. Dive hits. Younger goes for chairs. Cross body gets two. Right hand in the corner. Running chair shot to the head. Younger hits Air Sabu on Masada. Headbutt on Masada. Whip in the corner. Leaping bulldog sends Masada head first into the chair. Chair on chair action as Younger keeps control. Chop into the corner. Another chop. Masada catches a charging Younger with his back. He takes a part of the broken chair and drives it into Younger’s head. He has a part of the chair and makes Younger bleed. Right hand to the forehead. Suplex blocked. Drop toe hold by Younger on Masada. Seated position and a series of right hands. Armdrag and Younger’s body destroys the chair. Chair to the head. Masada on the floor. He stops Younger on the middle rope. Powerbomb into the steel post. Powerbomb to the bottom turnbuckle from the outside. Wow. Chair shot across the front of Younger’s body. Referee begins counting him out. Younger with elbows as both men are on the top rope. Swanton and he breaks chair number two. Specifically his elbow connected. Texas cloverleaf by the champion. Into the STF. Younger grabs the bottom rope. Chair to the back. Hard shot too. Choking along the bottom turnbuckle. Masada places it between the turnbuckles. Chop in another corner. Whip and Younger goes back first into the chair. Younger sends Masada into a chair. That’s three chairs broken. Tiger driver blocked. Younger placed on the top rope. Younger bites Masada. Sunset bomb and Masada’s head crashes into the pile of chairs. Double stomp into chairs on top of Masada. 1-2-NO! Drake’s Landing attempt blocked. Half nelson suplex by the challenger. He sets another chair with the legs up. Masada drops Younger in a sort of powerbomb through the chair. Number four. That looked nasty. Regalplex into the chair. Brainbuster. 1-2-NO! Chair to the head. Small package and Masada retains.
Match Analysis: Crowd has definitely been burned out by everything they’ve seen so far tonight. It’s a no win situation for CZW considering the amount of matches and cage set-up. This was another really good match from these two guy. Masada looked good as he proved again he can go with anyone. Younger has developed into a tremendous wrestler, and CZW would do well to bring him in as often as they can possibly afford.
Winner (s)/Rating: STILL CZW World Heavyweight Champion-Masada/***1/4
-Joe Gacy wants a rematch with Masada. Beatdown as Christina Von Eerie trips the champion. Submission hold by Gacy. Von Eerie stabs his head with skewers. There’s a pleasant sight. Masada gets up and looks angry. DDT by Von Eerie. Piledriver by Gacy. Well, they did a decent enough job setting up the next title match. Crowd is not impressed with Gacy… AT ALL.
Cage of Death-Shattered Dreams: Matt Tremont vs. DJ Hyde
Match in Five Words or Less: Feud Of The Year?
Match Summary: Larry Legend says he can no longer be the full-time ring announcer of the promotion. Hyde comes out and fires him. Staredown. Shoving. Spitting. Oh brother. Right hands by Tremont. Headbutt by Hyde. Into the barbwire. Neither can get the other into it. Boot from Hyde. Hyde sent back first and the glass shatters. Quick two count. Funny if it would have ended there. Hyde sticks something in Hyde’s face. Series of blows to the forehead. Hyde has his face raked along the barb wire. Chair to the head. Tremont points to another wall of glass. Tremont saves himself. Spear through the wall by Hyde. Ummmm. Holy shit. Hyde goes to work on Tremont’s face. Good thing he wasn’t pretty to begin with. Slam into a hardwood structure. Crowd gets behind Tremont. Headbutt exchange. Spear back in the ring by Tremont. That’s four glass walls broken in five minutes. Chair shot to the back. Back first into the barb wire goes Hyde. Dropkick. Hyde back drops Tremont through more glass. Barb wire bat shot to the back… and then to the head. Jesus. Punch to the face as Tremont calls him out. Chair to the head. He wipes Tremont’s bloody head with toilet paper and tosses it at the crowd. Shot to the gut. Tremont brings Hyde over through two chairs in what I guess can be called a suplex. Chair with barb wire wrapped around it. Bat (with tacks taped on it) to the head. Another thumbtack bat shot to the head. Glass set between two chairs. Tremont climbs to the top of the cage. Frog splash through the glass. Hyde actually kicks out. Tremont points to the pane of glass with a barbed wire board underneath. Tremont cuts the barb wire side of the cage. Powerbomb attempt. Hyde headbutt. Chokeslam through the glass, barb wire board, and chairs. How could I forget about the chairs. One of the staff members cuts barb wire from Tremont’s flesh. His arm is really stuck in there. Hyde pushes the staff away. Tremont is an absolute mess. In the ring for a two count. Lariat misses. Side slam by Hyde gets two. If that was the finish, there likely would have been a riot. Hyde slams Tremont through yet another wall of glass. Bodyslam. Oh my God, DJ Hyde is climbing the cage. Tremont follows him. Headbutts on the platform. Tremont with one of his own. DVD from the top of the cage through a pane of glass and the hardwood stage. Matt Tremont actually crawls back in the ring. Hyde is also in the ring. Tremont drags himself. Cover and mercifully this motherfucker is over.
Match Analysis: Definitely not a death match guy. What can you possibly say after something like this? Star ratings? Forget about it. This was a pure spectacle. You either like it or you don’t. Me? Can’t say I’m a fan. I give these guys credit for telling an unbelievable story the whole year. If you’re a fan of this promotion, this has to be a satisfying ending. Hyde got his comeuppance. The babyface stands triumphant. Easy story. Not the way I’d like to see wrestlers get to the end game though.
Winner (s)/Rating: Matt Tremont/N/R
The Verdict: I fully admit the main event really isn’t for me and likely a number of people reading this. However, the first three hours of this show were outstanding enough to warrant a big thumbs up. Many of the improvements within the promotion came to ahead. There was a lot of good wrestling with good storytelling and clearly defined roles. The poop thing wasn’t high art, and I can’t say I endorse the use of it in a match where two of the best wrestlers in the world are having a great battle. Also, running three hours burns a crowd out. I’m not sure what the solution is, but it may involve cutting certain matches or certainly shortening. A lot of important issues were resolved. Some new issues were started, particulstly with OI4K and BLK Out. This has to be the best CZW shows I’ve ever seen. Well worth the replay if you ask me.
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