There has been a lot of discussion through various podcasts about timelines, alternative universes, and doppelgangers concerning Chikara. I will leave those conspiracy theories for them and focus my energy on discussing the wrestling on all of the Chikara shows from here on and channel some anger toward Tom Donst and his motley crew. What alternate timeline are we in where such a talented performer is being wasted with this stupid character and even lousier feud. In fact, let’s just discuss their part in Gibsonville right away. For some inexplicable reason, the Gibsonville faithful were robbed of a chance to get the full Chikara experience with Gavin Loudspeaker not being a part of the first half of the show. He is such an important cog within the Chikara machine that to take it away hurt the show and the energy of the crowd. Looking at where Chikara is headed, it makes storyline sense for Tim Donst to get heat by taking over and do a terrible job of announcing. From an entertainment standpoint though, it’s extremely counterproductive for both the live audience and anyone watching through Smart Mark Video. In addition to Donst ring announcing, he sang a terrible song using the cheapest of cheap heat tactics on the crowd. This is a guy who once had his own album….which I bought and enjoyed. You’re telling me we couldn’t get anything more than Tim Donst complaining about hating everyone, including the sun. To hurt the aesthetic more, Jakob Hammermeier, Steve Weiner, and Veronica all joined the commentation station at various stages. They added nothing to the broadcast. Veronica in particular just talked about hating everything. Donst basically said this too.
Chikara is meant to be a fun company. It’s bad enough every single group is fractured and there’s tons of in-fighting. People are quitting or being fired (in the kayfabe sense). Tim Donst hating everything and complaining on every show further depresses me as a wrestling fan. If I want to be depressed, I can turn on TNA or listen to some emo music at Hot Topic. I come to Chikara for fun, and this Tim Donst storyline has done nothing but frustrate me. I wouldn’t care so much if I didn’t have the utmost respect for Donst as a person and wrestler. He’s gotten in phenomenal shape, but his big first half of the season feud is with the damn ring announcer.
With that unpleasantness out of the way, let’s discuss the show. This was centered around Green Ant and Eddie Kingston’s rematch, something which was supposed to take place back during the March Orlando show. Kingston’s hand decided to make friends with a mirror, so we had to wait two months instead. The focus of this match was so simple but effective. Green Ant has been using the Texas Cloverleaf to win matches recently (including beating Kingston back in Reading at the season premiere), so he focused his attention on the knee in the main event. He locked on the hold, but Kingston was too close to the ropes. Fans were way behind Green Ant and against Kingston. This was a very good main event and a great way to end the show. I almost feel like my expectations were perhaps a little too high, but anyone who liked their first match will surely like their second one.
One of the more disturbing aspects of the main event and the show in general was the amount of apron spots. Green Ant missed on a headbutt attempt. I know how trendy these apron spots are but man, every time I feel the side of a ring, I cringe at the thought of even trying to slam my back or head on it.
Chiva Kid was the star of National Pro Wrestling Day. Ever since then, he has unmasked and received numerous booking opportunities with places like CZW and DG USA. Because of his overall goofy character and the somewhat low rent look a chiva presents, Chiva Kid became Andrew Everett. Everett kind of looks like a younger Adam Cole but presents a more polished and professional look without the mask. Also, his ability to cut promos and talk on the microphone is made easier by taking the mask off. Being the alternate world of Chikara, and a fine coincidence with all these dark timelines, Andrew Everett became Chiva Kid once again and wrestled Mr. Touchdown for the Young Lion’s Cup. My expectations were also high for this match. All I got was eight minutes and none of the spectacular feats Chiva Kid presented in Philadelphia . Touchdown won in what felt like an extended squash. I don’t think Touchdown should be losing his Young Lion’s Cup to someone who’s not going to be a regular, but would it be unreasonable to ask for something like the ACH match or something that at least feels as important as those contests? For the time constraints, their work was good, but I consider this a lost opportunity.
You know things are bad in Chikara when even F.I.S.T isn’t getting along, and one of the longest reigning groups in Chikara is essentially done after this weekend. Johnny Gargano, Chuck Taylor, and Icarus wrestled Frightmare, Hallowicked, and Ultramantis Black in s battle of two classic Chikara trios. These two trios wrestled in the semifinals of the 2012 King of Trios where the Spectral Envoy won. The Envoy won again thanks to miscommunication and more problems with Johnny Gargano. The emphasis was placed on the post-match angle rather than the wrestling itself. The match was your typical Chikara six man tag, which is to say very good and top of the line quality. But again, Chikara has been way more about the ancillary aspects instead of the work inside the ring, something that I feel has been to their determent in many cases. Once Frightmare rolled up Gargano and got the win, Gargano superkicked Dunkerton and quit the group he joined three years ago (couldn’t believe it’s been that long). Icarus immediately speared Gargano as a way of standing up for Dunkerton. Such an incredible sight as it seems no group in Chikara is safe. Even F.I.S.T is seemingly disintegrated after being together for almost as long as Chikara has been in existence.
I mentioned the apron spots. There was a nasty one in the Jigsaw/Archibald Peck match. Jigsaw did an electric chair of all things. Their match was good despite Peck hating his body. Because Peck is challenging for the singles title in two weeks and Jigsaw’s focus is on tag team stuff, I’m okay with Jigsaw losing clean. Peck got a win over a credible challenger, even if he did have to hold onto the tights. Pretty odd to see tecnico behave that way in the usual black and white world of Chikara. I enjoyed the match and felt it served its intended purpose well.
It feels like every time I talk about the Shard these days, he’s stealing the show with another ***1/2 match. Anyone who doubted the comeback efforts of Amasis must see this match because it surprisingly delivered in a big way and instilled confidence in me that Amasis could still deliver as he did before the car accident. This show continued the trend of way too many roll-ups, but there was a lot of fun stuff before the ending including Shard powerbombing Amasis into his knees. This felt like one of Amasis’s first full matches in professional wrestling, and I enjoyed it tremendously.
A comedy match is par for the course in Chikara, and they like to slot them in the first or second match. This time around, Los Ice Creams and the remaining Colony members faced the full Batiri. Obaryion and Kodama had a title shot the next so their winning made a ton of sense. I was shocked this went 18 minutes because while it was harmless and had some cute spots, it wasn’t the most consequential match of all-time either. Right around that okay to good border. It’s worth noting the Colony and Los Ice Creams had a shoving match following their loss, which nicely fed into the first round of Tag World Grand Prix where they wrestled.
Saturyne defeated Missile Assault Ant in a match that I couldn’t remember if I tried. I had to look at the actual result before I could even remember the finish. My star rating seems about right, and I’ve really got nothing else to say.
The other trios match was originally going to be a non-title regular tag team match between 3.0 and Colony Xtreme Force. Instead, deviANT came out as the new leader and led the assault (not the missile assault). Gran Akuma joined in. We had ourselves a match. The Colony Xtreme Force Act was toned down significantly, and deviANT allowed for an easier flow. The crowd didn’t even have to pretend to care about Soldier Ant. They could just boo everyone on the one side and feel content. CXF won an okay match after using some shenanigans.
One last thing to mention about this show. Orbit Adventure Ant’s helmet.
I would consider this show a mixed bag with some good matches and some annoying angles. It’s been such a strange year for Chikara, and it feels like the big moment is going to happen at the iPPV. This show felt like another case of setting up the pieces for the big chess move at Aniversario: Never Compromise. As is, this was a decent show with a few good matches.
Grade: C+
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-Taped from Gibsonville, North Carolina
-Commentators: Bryce Remsburg, Ultramantis Black, Steve Weiner, Leonard F. Chikarason, Jakob Hammermeier, Veronica, Scott Parker, and Gavin Loudspeaker
Quick results, times, and star ratings:
The Batiri (Ophidian, Obaryion, Kodama, and Kobald) defeat Los Ice Creams (El Hijo de Ice Cream, Ice Cream Junior) and The Colony (Fire Ant and assailANT). Kobald pins assailANT after the drop toe hold into the knee of Obaryion/18:04/**3/4
Saturyne defeats Missile Assault Ant with a la maestral cradle/2:55/*1/2
3.0 (Shane Matthew and Scott Parker)(campeones de parejas) and Gran Akuma defeat Colony Xtreme Force (Arctic Rescue Ant, Orbit Adventure Ant, and deviANT) by pinfall. Arctic Rescue Ant pins Akuma after 2Radical MegaAir Tailbone Slammer: Xtreme/9:50/**1/2
Amasis defeats the Shard by pinfall with an inside cradle/14:43/***1/2
Archibald Peck defeats Jigsaw by pinfall with a roll-up and a hold of the tights/13:33/***1/4
Young Lion’s Cup: Mr. Touchdown retains over Chiva Kid by pinfall/8:03/**1/2
The Spectral Envoy (Ultramantis Black, Hallowicked, and Frightmare) vs. F.I.S.T (Icarus, Johnny Gargano, and Chuck Taylor). Frightmare rolled up Gargano from behind ./16:53/***1/2
Chikara Grand Championship: Eddie Kingston retains over Green Ant by pinfall/16:08/***1/2
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