This Week In WWE TV – March 17-23, 2014

This week: The Wrestlemania main event picture takes another unexpected twist, as HHH sets his road towards a not quite so eagerly anticipated all Evolution triple threat match and St Patrick’s Day turns into Whacking Day for Daniel Bryan. Plus, The Undertaker on Main Event, Sheamus on NXT, unofficial battle royaling galore, Kane clashes with The Shield, Gronk gets hyped and the Adam Rose royalty free music only afterparty.

RAW

– Show started with HHH in the ring. He said it was the fans fault that he was going to end the YES Movement. He said he wasn’t upset about it and he’d had a week to calm down. HHH claimed what he’d do to Bryan would be cold, calculated and without remorse just like he always had and he had some things to say to Bryan later tonight, man to man. When he tried to move on with the show, Batista interrupted. He complained about the fact he might end up in a triple threat match. Orton then came out and agreed with ‘Big Dave’. HHH got annoyed that they both thought Bryan might beat him. Orton asked for a match with Bryan to do what Batista couldn’t last week and HHH agreed. Orton and Batista both essentially called the other one a failure and claimed that was why the fans were behind Bryan. They bickered and HHH got pushed away. He went to leave and Batista asked where he was going. HHH said he was sick of the fans, he was sick of Hollywood movie stars thinking they knew more about the business than him and sick of technicall gifted guys who couldn’t win without him holding their hand. He then announced that there’d be a triple threat at Wrestlemania, because if he beat Bryan, he’d be in the main event. Batista yelled at HHH as he left before Orton hit an RKO. Renee then tried to interview Batista backstage. He said coming back was a big mistake and he was out of here, apparently leaving the building.

– The Real Americans d. The Usos (Cesaro pinned Jey) in 8:45. Real Americans stayed on the same page here. Jimmy ran wild but got distracted by Cesaro, allowing Swagger to deliver a running boot. Jimmy was then worked over, before Jey made a comeback. Jimmy broke up the big swing and a double team samoan drop got a two count. The Usos hit a double superkick to Swagger. Jimmy then hit a dive on Swagger, but Cesaro blocked Jey’s dive with an awesome uppercut from the apron, before hitting the Neutraliser for the pin. Kane met with The Shield backstage. He said they all made some regrettable decisions on Smackdown and said he needed a united Shield. Kane said if he couldn’t count on them then the Authority couldn’t either, which meant they ceased being an asset. The Shield told Kane they were united and Kane warned them to do the right thing when asked, or they’d find out they were replacable.

– Hornswoggle handed out St Patrick’s Day gifts at ringside. Bad News Barrett and his giant podium on a forklift interrupted, to give some Bad News, that everyone would spend the stupid holiday drinking and wake up with a hangover. Sheamus d. Titus O’Neil in 4:07. Sheamus wore an Irish rugby top and Titus was dressed as an Irishman. If Irish people dressed like it was St Patrick’s Day. Infact, it’s fairer to say he was dressed as St Patrick’s Day. I was amused by this. Cole mentioned Titus would be in the Andre Memorial Battle Royal. Christian did commentary. He announced himself for the Battle Royal too and ripped into JBL for calling him ugly in recent weeks. Titus threw Hornswoggle in the ring and tried to give him a fallaway slam. Sheamus caught Hornswoggle though and used him as a battering ram. After Sheamus won with the Brogue Kick, Renee interviewed him in the ring and he also entered the Andre Memorial Battle Royal. That caused Christian to attack Sheamus and give him the Killswitch on the floor.

– Cena came out. He said he’d been around 12 years and claimed he’d had over 3,500 matches, so him and the fans were like an old married couple, but he’d always given his best and been honest. Cena said he was afraid of Bray and that people were listening to what Bray was saying about him. He said he believed in what he stood for and Wrestlemania was about fighting for his legacy. The Wyatts appeared on the screen, with Bray wearing a Cena shirt and armband. He cut a promo on Cena and mentioned his ‘plastic girlfriend’, which got some ooohs from the crowd. I think the jist was he doesn’t care about winning, he wanted to expose Cena for what he is at Wrestlemania.

– No Disqualification Match: Daniel Bryan d. Randy Orton in 11:26. Bryan started the stronger and hit a dive, but Orton then used a kendo stick. He then went off on some guy in the crowd for wanting the bell to be rung, which was great, before dropping Bryan on the announce table with a back suplex. Orton dominated for a while, focusing on the back. Bryan made a comeback and used the kendo stick. Orton hit a superplex and the middle rope DDT but Bryan rolled out of the ring as Orton teased an RKO. Bryan used the kendo stick again and dropkicked Orton over the barrier. Orton used a chair before Batista ran in and hit a spear. Bryan then took out Batista with a dropkick and pinned Orton. Another really good TV match between these two, albeit without a clean finish this time. After the match Batista gave Orton a Batista Bomb as well.

– Heyman came out. He claimed Undertaker barely won his last few Wrestlemania matches, where-as Brock had dominated those same opponents. They played a video of Undertaker’s Wrestlemania wins and him barely beating Shawn and HHH at Wrestlemania, then Lesnar destroying Shawn, HHH and Henry in particular. Backstage, Stephanie and HHH argued about Bryan and the idea of HHH winning the title. HHH told her to let him take care of it and Stephanie said he’d better. Goldust d. Fandango in 5:10. Goldust mocked Fandango’s dancing. Summer got knocked off the apron and Cody caught her. Fandango took control and somewhere in here, Goldust got busted open. A Goldust hurricanrana didn’t go right and neither did a Fandango suplex, before Fandango missed the legdrop off the top and Goldust won with the Final Cut.

– Kane came out. He claimed Lawler was involved in the Occupy Raw segment in Memphis and called him into the ring. When he refused, The Shield came out and surrounded him, ushering Lawler into the ring. Kane said they’d known each other for a long time and asked if he had anything to say for himself. Rollins then told Lawler that Bryan wasn’t coming to save him, because The Shield did what was best for business. The Shield then turned around and stared down Kane as Lawler left. Kane tried to fight them off, but Ambrose broke up a chokeslam on Rollins, who then hit an enziguri, followed by the spear from Reigns. The Shield then hit the triple powerbomb.

– The Funkadactyls d. AJ and Tamina Snuka (Naomi pinned AJ) in 3:38. The Bellas did commentary. Naomi wore an eyepatch over her injured eye. After Tamina and AJ focused on Cameron, Naomi made a big comeback and pinned AJ with a split legged moonsault. After the match, AJ blamed Tamina saying they lost every time they teamed together and got shoved down by Tamina. Mr T was then announced for the Hall Of Fame.

– In a match involving Andre The Giant Memorial Battle Royal competitors, Big Show, Mark Henry, Dolph Ziggler and Big E d. Alberto Del Rio, Damien Sandow and RybAxel (Big Show pinned Sandow) in 8:35. Big Show did an inset promo before the match about the Battle Royal. The heels cut off Ziggler. Big Show ran wild before things broke down, with everybody throwing each other over the top rope in some foreshadowing. It ended with Big Show pinning Sandow with the chokeslam after everyone else had been sent outside. Renee interviewed Batista, who said he never quit anything in his life and he’d leave Wrestlemania as WWE World Heavyweight Champion. Bray Wyatt d. Kofi Kingston in 2:56. We got a Bray and Cena music video set to Eminem’s Legacy before the match. Bray won decisively with the Sister Abigail.

– HHH called out Bryan. He claimed everything he’d done since Summerslam was best for business and it wasn’t personal. He said it’d be a fight at Wrestlemania and he wouldn’t apologise for what he did and nor should Bryan. HHH said he had no choice but to end the YES Movement at Wrestlemania. He told Bryan no hard feelings and may the best man win before offering his hand. Bryan refused to shake it. HHH put over Bryan for overcoming the roadblocks he’d put in front of him. He said Bryan had earned his respect and went to leave, but Stephanie came out. She claimed what Bryan did last week was illegal and she was pressing charges. Police came out to arrest Bryan as HHH and Stephanie argued. Once Bryan was handcuffed though, HHH revealed the cops were fake and sent them away. HHH then attacked Bryan. We got a long beatdown, with Stephanie cheering HHH on. Bryan tried to fight back a few times but couldn’t. Stephanie got a few slaps in before HHH gave Bryan a chairshot against the ring post. He then hit a Pedigree and made out with Stephanie over him, before saying it was their ring and their show. HHH then took the key from around Stephanie’s neck and she waved it in Bryan’s face. This was quite the beating and quite the angle.

MAIN EVENT

– Cody Rhodes and Goldust d. The Real Americans (Cody pinned Swagger) in 12:25. The Real Americans briefly cut off Cody, before Goldust ran wild. Cody and Goldust hit their tandem dive and cannonball off the apron, before the Real Americans isolated Goldust. Cesaro knocked Cody off the apron, preventing Goldust from making a tag. Cesaro then gave Goldust the big swing. Goldust finally managed to make the tag to Cody who made a comeback on both Real Americans. When he went for Cross Rhodes on Swagger, Cesaro tried a clothesline but took a powerslam from Goldust. Cody hit the moonsault for a near fall before Swagger countered the disaster kick into the ankle lock. Cesaro tried to prevent Cody getting the rope, before Goldust took him out and Cody escaped. Cody then hit Cross Rhodes for the pin.

– The Funkadactyls d. Alicia Fox and Layla (Naomi pinned Alicia) in 5:03. Layla’s first match back in a while, on TV at least. She looked good. Like on Raw, Naomi made a big comeback after Cameron was worked over and beat Alicia with the split legged moonsault. Big Show d. Titus O’Neil in 4:30. Titus actually hit the Clash Of The Titus sky high on Big Show, but Show kicked out. And Big Show came back to win with the KO punch.

– The big hook of the show was Undertaker making his first Main Event appearance. Heyman appeared at ringside first instead though, forcing Lillian to introduce him. Heyman nervously said he had a message from Lesnar. He said the WWE World Heavyweight Title was the most prestigious commodity in WWE, but at Wrestlemania the streak was of equal if not greater value. Heyman said the streak would end at Wrestlemania and went to leave, but the lights went out. Undertaker appeared in the ring and grabbed Heyman by the throat. Undertaker gave Heyman a rather threatening message to give to Lesnar and if he didn’t understand, he be at Raw next Monday to hand deliver the message.

NXT

– Mojo Rawley d. Bull Dempsey in 2:26 with the butt splash. They showed Rob Gronkowski in the crowd, mentioned he was friends with Mojo throughout the match and Mojo celebrated with Gronk and the rest of his group of fans after the match. Devin then interviewed CJ, who accused Mojo of eating chemically produced fast foods. He said he’d ‘humanely dispose’ of Mojo next week and demonstrated by throwing trash into a recycling bin. Sami was then supposed to wrestle Breeze, but Graves ran out and attacked Sami during his entrance. They had a doctor check on Sami for a concussion and there was no match.

– Devin tried to interview Sheamus. They mentioned it all started for him in NXT, which is half right I suppose. Aiden English interrupted and Sheamus said he’d ask JBL for a match with him. Adam Rose d. Camacho in 4:55. Okay, the bad news. They either couldn’t clear or didn’t clear Rose’s theme from last week and dubbed over a sound alike theme, which to be fair is pretty close to what he used last week, but not the same. After the hype last week got and how quickly the NXT crowd have gotten into the Rose character, maybe they should spend the money. Assuming they can clear it and just chose not to. Anyway, Renee did commentary. After Rose threw off Camacho with his antics early, Camacho actually took control for a while. He mocked Rose’s prancing though and that made Rose mad, causing him to fight back. We got something resembling a bronco buster, then a spinebuster, before Rose won with his big clothesline.

– Bayley d. Sasha Banks in 4:36. Bayley had Natalya in her corner and Sasha had Charlotte. Bayley put on Sasha’s sunglasses and mocked Sasha during the match, which was amusing. Sasha then took over and put on Bayley’s headband to mock her. A lot of petty theft going on. Natalya stopped Charlotte from going after Bayley outside, but Charlotte caught Natalya with a cheap shot. Sasha then tried to roll up a distracted Bayley, but Bayley reversed the roll up for the pin.

– They played a video announcing Natalya versus Charlotte, CJ versus Mojo, Xavier versus Breeze and Neville versus Bo for the title next week, calling it “vengeance week”. Before the main event, Aiden had some words for Sheamus, so Sheamus stole the microphone and started singing. Aiden stole the microphone back. When Sheamus tried to sing again, English then hit Sheamus from behind. Sheamus d. Aiden English in 8:55. Sheamus went after Aiden, who caught Sheamus sliding into the ring with stomps. Sheamus fought back and went for the Brogue Kick but English rolled outside. English took control during the break, then sent Sheamus into the post, tripped him on the steps and hit a clothesline to retake control soon after. Sheamus eventually made a comeback and won clean with the Brogue Kick. This was better and more competitive than I expected though and the crowd were into Sheamus.

SUPERSTARS

– Natalya d. Alicia Fox by submission in 3:05 with the sharpshooter and R-Truth and Xavier Woods d. Jinder Mahal and Drew McIntyre of 3MB (Truth pinned Drew) in 7:06. 3MB struggled early, before getting the advantage on Xavier. Truth fought back, Slater tried a distraction, Drew accidentally booted him off the apron and Truth won after hitting the Little Jimmy.

SMACKDOWN

– Dolph Ziggler d. Damien Sandow in 5:52. Cool moment early where Sandow swept Ziggler’s leg as he was climbing the turnbuckles and Ziggler hit his head on the steps as he landed outside. Ziggler beat the count back in and Sandow took control. Sandow threw Ziggler into the barrier at one point, before Ziggler eventually fought back. Finish saw Ziggler avoid a somersault neckbreaker and hit a fameasser for the win. Kane came out and showed video of HHH’s attack on Bryan. He said Bryan had it coming and called him an egomaniac. Kane told the fans they were to blame and said The Authority were better than all of them and better than Bryan. He then read a statement from HHH.

– Fernando d. Fandango in 2:35. Fernando built momentum near the end until Summer distracted him. Torito went to confront her and was incited by Summer’s red dress. He chased her around the ring. When Fandango tried to protect her, Fernando then rolled him up for the pin. I love wrestling. A Wyatts promo on Cena then aired.

– #1 Contendership, Fatal Fourway: Dean Ambrose and Seth Rollins, The Real Americans, RybAxel and Jinder Mahal and Drew McIntyre of 3MB went to a no contest when  interfered. RybAxel and 3MB had struggled against The Shield early and Ambrose and Rollins hit a double dive on RybAxel. Ambrose was then isolated by the other three teams, after Cesaro swung him into the barrier and Swagger clotheslined Rollins on the outside. Ambrose hit a jawbreaker lariat to Cesaro and a DDT to Swagger before tagging Rollins, who ran wild. He hit a big dive to Ryback, then when Slater tripped him, Reigns speared Heath. Rollins hit the Blackout to Jinder but Drew broke the pin. As Ambrose and Drew fought outside, Kane appeared and attacked Reigns, which lead to the match being thrown out. The Real Americans and RybAxel beat down Rollins and Ambrose as Kane brawled up the ramp with Reigns. The New Age Outlaws then appeared to help Kane. Rollins took a Neutraliser and Ambrose took Shell Shocked. Reigns tried to fight back but was beat down three on one on the stage. Kane and The Outlaws then came to the ring and beat up Ambrose and Rollins, Billy hitting a Fameasser on Rollins and Ambrose getting the chokeslam from Kane. Reigns tried to crawl back to the ring and The Outlaws brought him in for Kane to hit a chokeslam on him as well. This was a pretty effective way to get to where they’re going for Wrestlemania.

– Miz hosted the returning MizTV. He announced he’d be in the Andre The Giant Battle Royal, before bringing out Big Show as his guest, saying he’d heard Big Show was the odds on favourite. Big Show talked about being compared to Andre and said he couldn’t think of a better way to cement his legacy than winning the battle royal. Miz pointed out Big Show had lost more times at Wrestlemania than anyone in history. He said Big Show wasn’t his only guest and Titus, Kofi, Del Rio, Big E, Cody, Henry, Goldust came out, followed by Sheamus who suggested they quit talking and fight. Miz said they all wanted to prove they’d win the battle royal and Miz suggested they all go after Big Show. Which they did at first, before it turned into a brawl between everybody, except Miz who slid outside. Sheamus threw out Cody, Show threw out Del Rio, Sheamus then threw out Big E and Show threw out Goldust. Kofi gave Henry Trouble In Paradise and Sheamus hit a Brogue Kick before throwing Henry out. Show sent out Titus and Sheamus clotheslined out Kofi. That left Sheamus and Big Show, who fought briefly. Big Show blocked a Brogue Kick but Sheamus got him in a front facelock on the apron. Miz then tried to throw Show out. But Big Show knocked Sheamus off the apron with a headbutt, before throwing Miz out to stand tall. As MizTV segments go this might have been the best that didn’t involve Brock throwing furniture around.

– Alberto Del Rio d. Big E in 2:50 with the kneeling superkick, in a quick but pretty even match. In footage from earlier in the day, Santino had the makeup lady cover a bruise on his face from his date with Emma. He wondered how to make Emma more than a ‘fun buddy’. Emma crept up on him and slapstick ensued. Santino fell down, then accidentally bumped heads with her, before running away. The Bellas d. Natalya and Summer Rae (Brie pinned Natalya) in 2:18. AJ did commentary and had Tamina with her. Dissension between Natalya and Summer lead to Brie pinning Natalya with a facebuster. The Bellas stared AJ’s way afterwards.

– Backstage, Kane met with The Real Americans, RybAxel and 3MB. He rewarded RybAxel with a tag title match, gave The Real Americans a tag title match too. When 3MB pointed out they were down there as well, Kane put them in the Andre Memorial Battle Royal. The New Age Outlaws then came in and shook hands with Kane. Road Dogg bragged about leaving The Shield in a puddle of punishment and Kane said he knew he could count on them.

– Lana brought out Rusev to do his promo on his tiny Bulgarian podium. Cole informed us of Bryan’s injuries but said he would be at Raw Monday. And in the main event, John Cena d. Luke Harper in 5:29. Harper more than held his own at the start. He escaped the STF, then when Cena went for the five knuckle shuffle, Rowan started wandering around the ring. Harper escaped the AA with Cena distracted and hit a big boot for a two count. After missing a big boot in the corner, Harper rolled back in and got caught in the STF. Harper bit Cena to get out though and got a near fall with a back suplex lift into a face plant move which I think is a new one for Harper. Cena then countered a powerbomb with a hurricanrana, only for Harper to hit a running hurricanrana of his own, which is new for him in WWE at least, then hit a michinoku driver for a near fall. Cena ducked the spinning clothesline though and hit the AA for the pin. This was fairly short for a main event, but fun while it lasted.