Lucha Underground 6/14/17 Review: The Cueto Cup Begins

Right off the bat, we see Dario Cueto setting up the Cueto Cup brackets before Pentagon Dark makes his return to the temple known. He demands a Lucha Underground Championship shot, but Cueto tells him that he must first win the Cueto Cup if he wants a shot so badly. Pentagon agrees, promising that he will leave Ultima Lucha Tres with the title and if not, he’ll settle on breaking Cueto’s bones. That is definitely something to keep in mind if Pentagon does manage to win this thing and move on to Ultima Lucha Tres.

Mala Suerte debuts against The Mack in our opening First Round match-up of The Cueto Cup. Mala gets a surprising amount of offense in (including a senton that had some shades of Dick Togo) but The Mack had this one in the bag. For the third week in a row, The Mack gets the opening match of the episode and this one was more of a showcase of his skill after having lost his LU Championship match last week. Now, we get to see him showcased at the best of his ability. In this showcase, The Mack gets the win thanks to his trusty Stunner. Not a classic, but not a bad match either. The right guy won while his opponent looked impressive in a big debut. All the right elements came together here.

We get a segment where Cage admires the powerful gauntlet he won from Cueto a few months back. Cueto name drops some politician who wants to celebrate Cage’s newfound power. Cage reluctantly accepts an invitation to go to the guy’s house.

In the next First Round match, Argenis takes on the returning Pentagon Dark. Now fully recovered from his arm injuries dealt at the hands of Dragon Azteca and The Black Lotus Triad months ago, comes back full of angst and aggression. Like the last match, Argenis gets a decent amount of offense in, but you don’t think for a second that this could end any way except with Pentagon getting his hand raised. Nothing against Argenis, but Pentagon just isn’t going to lose in the First Round, especially in his return match. For the most part, it was Pentagon for the whole match until he wins with the Package Piledriver and just for the hell of it, Pentagon breaks Argenis’ arm after the match as he’s done before. A little more competitive than your average squash match, but a squash nonetheless.

Our next match in the First Round comes in the form of Texano vs Famous B, but right before the match, B says he doesn’t want to wrestle Texano. Instead, he wants to represent him as a manager and to protect his investment, he’ll lay down for Texano. Texano doesn’t want the easy win so he picks off the ground and hits a big Sit-Out Powerbomb for the quick win. This was a nothing match, basically a dud. Maybe this will lead to some kind of storyline in the future, but there’s nothing to say about this “match,” if you can call it that.

Back from commercial break, we see a video package hyping up Johnny Mundo vs Rey Mysterio for the Lucha Underground Championship. LU doesn’t do these often, but this one was really impressive. Kind of felt like a movie trailer. Also, the voiceover guy sounded Australian, which was weird, but it was different.

Our final First Round match of the night is also match with bad blood between the opponents. Brothers Aerostar and Drago go one-on-one after Drago turned on him last week. Interestingly enough, this is their 7th match in LU history with both men going in sharing 3 victories each over the other. The only difference between this and their last encounters is that Drago has Cobra Moon in his corner this time and she definitely plays a huge factor into this match.

Her influence and enslavement of Drago is evident not only by her personal dog collar, but how easy he is prone to listening to her demands. Even outside of her minor interference, we get a great match and I honestly think this is the best match the two have had yet. As always, the two provide some quick paced non-stop action–perhaps too quick as Aerostar overshot a few moves and nearly killed himself a couple times–and their new feud adds some fresh intensity into their series of matches. At the end, Drago wins after countering Aerostar’s finisher into a wacky pin. Drago shows his former friend some respect after the match, but at Cobra Moon’s insistence, he goes for the kill by absolutely annihilating Aerostar in the middle of the ring.

We end on Cage visiting the politician who Cueto mentioned. They never mentioned the guy’s name at the end so so forgive me for having to call him “the guy.” He’s no Roman Reigns, that’s for sure, but he’s rich. Cage isn’t buying the guy’s big shot act nor is he willing to be a lackey, no matter how much the politician insists. Thanks to some mind control from the glove, Cage wraps his hand around the guy’s throat, but then comes to his senses. The guy accepts his apology, noting Cage is still thinking like “a man” despite the glove’s influence. In a moment’s notice, Cage punches the guy’s face out of existence. With brains and grain spilled on the ground, the show ends with Cage declaring, “I’m not a man, I’m a machine!”

So yeah, we just ended an episode with murder. To quote Curt Hawkins who quoted Mark Henry, “Since when is murder PG?!” Lucha Underground certainly isn’t as tonight’s show gave us another episode that was bloated with pure, unadulterated Grindhouse worthy action.

Joe Anthony Myrick

A photographer/journalist working out of Detroit.

wambamitsjam has 55 posts and counting.See all posts by wambamitsjam

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