It’s that time of year again! AAW is running another “mystery card” for Saturday’s “Showdown” at Logan Square Auditorium, which, naturally, lends itself to at least a round or two of predictions. In my case, I chose seven, because sevens are cool, and one time I saw a roulette table spin five sevens in a row, which also was cool, so we’re going with that.
Maybe some of these predictions will be spot-on. Maybe some of them will be wrong completely. Maybe some of these predictions are a touch out of the ordinary, and maybe some of them are a little extraordinary. Maybe I care, maybe I don’t. But if I know one thing, it’s that predictions are fun, no matter how correct or incorrect they are in the end. Matter of fact, send me your wildest prediction for AAW’s “Showdown” and maybe, just maybe, I’ll give you this size Large AJ Styles T-shirt I’ve been trying to unload for like the last two months. You can hit me at @deathinkosovo, where my tweets are trash, or at @pwponderings, which is far more credible and fun to read.
Most of these predictions were made with the idea that AAW uses a number of EVOLVE talents, and this Saturday is EVOLVE 100, so guys like Matt Riddle and Keith Lee will not be present. Additionally, these predictions aren’t in any set order, nor is this a countdown — though, absolutely, “A countdown about Showdown” or, “A Showdown Countdown,” sure perks my ears a bit — but I like numbers, you like numbers, it’s a whole thing, let’s not focus on that when we could be focusing on this:
7. Chris Jericho, yes, Chris Jericho interferes during the main event.
A-what?! Yes, I’m starting off with the weirdest, the wildest, the stupidest and the strangest prediction of all, and that is the Foz Man himself Chris Jericho interferes in the match and beats up Tetsuya Naito, promoting their match at… *long series of coughs, and like-gestures* … to be determined. OK, sure, the odds of this actually happening are, well, next to none, even more now knowing the match between the two won’t be happening in Long Beach next month, but consider this: Jericho has a break during his hefty touring schedule on the date of the show, and of the weekend of it, too, and because “why not”? Why not! This is the company that delivered CM Punk to fans in 2011 during his one week away from WWE, let’s get crazy. And Chris Jericho is a man who does whatever he wants, and by all indications he has his fair share of creative control during his time in New Japan. On the more absurd side of things, to be fair, and I can safely say “it’s not going to happen,” but again, let’s have fun.
6. Penta El Zero M vs. Teddy Hart.
Here’s one a little more grounded in reality, and one that has bearing in an AAW ring. Last December, during one of his mystifying, promoter-displeasing put-over promos at “Windy City Classic XIII” in which Hart, you guessed it, put over his opponents, AAW itself, and the entire south side of Chicago, he came off a little sharp at Penta El Zero M, whom he said he respected (naturally) but wanted to face in a match (naturally). Then and there. That’s a huge money match, which is why it couldn’t happen there, and that’s why it will happen here, on this mystery show that sold out with just the main event announced (naturally). The fans wanted it, Teddy Hart wanted it, that one kid who seems to love the Speedo Man wanted it, the feeling was pretty mutual all ’round. So, yeah, I’m going to put this one on my vision board.
5. Myron Reed vs. DJZ for the Heritage Title.
Somebody cut off access to the balcony on this one, because even though he’s (hopefully) coming back from injury this Saturday, my Lord if DJZ doesn’t enjoy throwing his body into constant turmoil for my (and our) general amusement. Don’t be like DJZ, kids. Don’t jump off balconies. I mean, still do the whole “win championships” thing, which is always great and expected, but don’t die. Please, don’t die. And that goes double for Myron “HOT FIYAH” Reed, whose nickname I am throwing into all capital letters for no reason other than I think he’s pretty good. Maybe if DJZ had a cool-sounding nickname and spelled it that way, I’d give him them dibs, but not just yet. (Is “DJZ” itself a nickname? The mind wonders.) Anyway, where was I? Oh, right, just hit “play” on this 10-minute sprint-and-a-half and enjoy the hell out of it. If he’s not jumping over folks into the audience, Myron should have a good shot to strap himself up. But, if he’s sworn to not ever jumping off that damn balcony, like ever again, then DJZ will keep the title. Who’s my pick? It’s a mystery show, so “fun” is my pick. Don’t overthink this one; just enjoy it.
4. Rey Fenix vs. Paco.
I have a hot scoop for you, a hot scoop coming through. A source close to Rey Fenix, who may or may not in fact be Rey Fenix, tells me he is a big fan of Paco’s work, and after enough time, he will be a folk hero to the Mexican people who pay to see him in and around Chicago. That’s heady stuff, and one hell of a reference to keep in one’s back pocket. So what you are seeing right now, and what you saw emerge last month in his match against ACH, was just the beginning of the potential Paco has to be as a professional wrestler. With so much respect shown for his fellow Latino, my high-flying source took it a step further and said he would one day love a match with Paco, preferably in an AAW ring, in Chicago. Rey Fenix calls himself the “MexaKing,” and he calls AAW his home, but in all honesty, he is right when he says Paco is the hero of his people. Rey is the traditional overachieving luchador, Paco is the unrelenting working class underdog. He doesn’t look fancy. He wears the same red trunks in all his matches, maybe he made them himself, I don’t know. He’s smaller than most, and he’s got a tattoo or two like yer best dude. He definitely is down to pop cold ones with the boys, because in effect, he is “the boys.” That’s the Paco Rey Fenix sees, and that’s the Paco the fans see. And, by gum, that’s the Paco I want to see in this first-time match-up.
3. ACH defends his championship, but against who?
Or maybe it’s “whom,” I used to know this stuff. Throw a correction into my mentions if it bugs you enough, will ya? Now, ACH. New AAW Champion, though I’m still unsure whether it’s of the World or the Heavyweight distinction, if not both. Who will be his first opponent, and yes, I agree that starting a new championship reign in the middle of the card is a bad look, so maybe they’ll do something nuttier than this article and open with it? If you can’t go last, go first, and blow them all away. First, there’s always a possibility of a rematch with Rey Fenix for the Chicago crowd who may not have had a chance to witness the magic in LaSalle a week and a half ago. Or, you could go with someone like David Starr, who was victorious in that much ballyhooed six-man tag with his boys in WRSTLING versus Callihan and his crew in January. Or you could have fun with it and go ACH/Paco in a rematch from their barn burner at “The Art of War.” I’m down like Funky Town with any of those ideas, friends. What say you?
2. MJF meets his make-uh, paht-nuh!
That was my best New York accent because I was impersonating Eddie Kingston, and yes, I was doing a terrific job at it. One of the most, nay, the most noteworthy thing AAW has done with Eddie Kingston in probably three years is pairing him with David Starr, who is really good at his job, yes, yes, he is. Those two are pro-wrestling’s version of The Odd Couple, but the stripped-down ’60s version with Jack Lemmon and not the made-for-television one starring Tony Randall. They are that good together, that must-see, their every interaction being highlight reel-worthy magic as told by two disgruntled bearded guys who seemingly have nothing in common (but, again, that’s the fun!). And what can I even say about MJF? He is such a natural in his role that I would be immensely disappointed if his snobby ass doesn’t interact with WRSTLING and Kingston, especially, somewhere down the line. A match between the two — where Starr is jumping up and down cheerleading for Eddie, while Friedman tries not to go insane from the combination of that, and the guy looking to put a fist in his ear — would not only be welcomed, it would be allowed. And it would be really, really fun.
1. The Besties in the World go down in flames.
If you think I am making this final prediction simply because I hate, and I mean hate, Davey Vega, then you’d be correct. To put it nicely, Vega is a big, hairy jerk of a man polished up and thrown into an unsettling-looking pile of pants somebody stole from a dirt biker’s closet — and I know what you’re thinking to yourself, “Derek, who keeps their pants in the closet?” Davey Vega, that’s who. That big jerk. Now, Fitchett, he’s an angel. A beautiful godsend of a man. His better half is lucky to have him. We, the fans, are lucky to have him. All joking aside, not that the hate I have for Vega is any joke, but I think we might see the Besties in the World finally lose the AAW Tag Team Championships, and the two finally splitting apart as a tag team. Remember when AAW was going down the road of teasing tension between Vega (boo) and Fitchett (yay)? It was like a whole year ago or more, and dang it, I remember. While I do seriously love both of these guys’ work, and they’re one of my favorite acts in the company, they also team everywhere else, so why not feud them for a bit and see what happens? Go nuts, have fun! It would continue Fitchett’s quest for good- to-great singles matches under the company banner and it would give fans even more reason to verbally poo-poo Vega. At the worst, you could always throw them back together, because that’s what best friends are for. Or, you could run a story where Fitchett gets a different partner every show, except they’re so increasingly weird and stupid that Vega feels bad for him and leaves AAW altogether. Good riddance.
There you have it, seven, count ’em, seven wild, reckless, bold, or even boring predictions for AAW’s “Showdown” on Saturday. Though, certainly, “a low-down on Showdown” would have sufficed just as well. Can’t win ’em all, I say. But, boy, did I have fun.
Do you have any predictions for “Showdown”? Or are you at an urge to harshly criticize mine while withholding your own ideas and opinions so as to shield yourself from any potential blowback? Then throw some hands at your keyboard, punch in @deathinkosovo on your Twit-box, and let me have it.
Until next time.