PROGRESS Chapter 64: Thunderbastards Are Go!
Filmed February 25th, 2018 from the Electric Ballroom in London, England
Commentary done by Glen Joseph and Matt Richards
Available to watch on Demand Progress
Sexy Starr (Jack Sexsmith & David Starr) vs. The Anti-Fun Police (Chief Deputy Dunne & the debuting Los Federales Santos Jr.)
This was absolute madness. Federales is absolutely hilarious. There was kissing, there were slips and falls, there was even a tope from the easily 300-pound Federales. A BDSM/Product Placement combo got Sexy Starr the win. This was 20 minutes of absolute joy. Post match, Sexsmith said he was taking care of past demons, and called out Mark Haskins and Jimmy Havoc for a match at the next chapter. ***
Winners: Sexy Starr
Charlie Morgan (w/ Jinny) vs. Millie McKenzie
This was a bit tedious. It was technically fine, but it lacked the fire that Millie’s matches usually have. It feels like the women’s division is on pause for a bit until Jinny’s hand heals up. Charlie Morgan could’ve easily been a challenger for Toni Storm outside of the House of Couture, but now she’s just another flunky for Jinny. The finish feeds my theory, as Jinny hits Millie with her shoe to get Charlie an opening to win. Maybe they have bigger plans for all three women in the House of Couture, but right now they’re all firmly in Jinny’s shadow. **
Winner: Charlie Morgan
Natural Progression Series V First Round: Mark Davis vs. Maverick Mayhew
The Natural Progression Series is a tournament used to spotlight up-and-coming talent in the UK scene, much like ROH’s Top Prospect Tournament. The previous winners of this tournament are Mark Andrews, Flash Morgan Webster, Pastor William Eaver, and Toni Storm. The winner of the tournament will receive a title shot, available to cash in at any time.
This match was if you took WALTER/Davis from Chapter 63, and boiled it down to about 5 minutes. Mayhew had a few hope spots, but this was largely Davis knocking the shit out of Mayhew. He hit several chops that sounded like the crack of a whip. Davis got the win with the Close Your Eyes piledriver. The crowd gave Mayhew a standing ovation afterwards. Personally, I hope Davis wins this tournament so we can see the rematch with WALTER. As for Mayhew, he has loads of potential, and I really hope to see more of him and Conner Mills in the future. ***1/2
Winner: Mark Davis
PROGRESS Tag Team Titles: Grizzled Young Veterans (Zack Gibson & James Drake) vs. Mark Haskins & Jimmy Havoc (w/ Vicky Haskins) (c)
Haskins and Havoc won the titles at Chapter 63. This is their first defense. The Vets got this rematch by whining in the video above.
This match was much different to the match from Chapter 63, if only by necessity. Early in the match, Havoc hit a double stomp to both Vets on the floor. He went down holding his knee, and had to be helped to the back by Haskins. Gibson got on the mic and mocked them and CCK for being pretenders that fell apart when a real team like the Vets came along. Haskins then came back out and got cheered for continuing the fight. It went on for a while as a handicap match, with the Vets never being able to keep Haskins down. Eventually, Havoc came back out to help his partner. Unfortunately, as soon as Havoc tagged in, the Vets hit the Ticket to Mayhem to win the titles back.
It’s unfortunate that both times the Vets won the titles were in matches where one of the other guys got hurt. Luckily, Havoc’s knee injury wasn’t as bad as his last one. It was later diagnosed as a torn meniscus. ***
Winners: NEW PROGRESS Tag Team Champions, The Grizzled Young Veterans
Zack Sabre Jr. vs. Jonah Rock (PROGRESS debut)
This match was done at a very methodical pace. Sabre would hit a few shots to grind Rock down, while Rock hit spurts of big offense. Rock was impressive here, showing off his athleticism and his strength throughout the match. I do hope we see more of him in Progress, maybe with more of a mean streak. I think a guy like him can easily pull off being the unbeatable monster heel, in fact, I think he would thrive in that role. Both guys wrestled this match in more of an exhibition style, with neither man being an out-and-out bad guy. I think it limited the match a little, but it didn’t make the match bad at all. I just saw the potential for something exceptional here. Sabre won with a reverse figure four with a heel hook. ***3/4
Winner: Zack Sabre Jr.
Before I review the Thunderbastard match, you owe it to yourselves to see the videos that Progress have been putting up over the past week regarding Mark Andrews and Eddie Dennis. They are phenomenal, compelling, and reminiscent of how they built up the Jimmy Havoc storyline that built Progress. Please, take some time and watch these if you haven’t.
THUNDERBASTARD: Mark Andrews vs. Chris Brookes vs. TK Cooper vs. Flash Morgan Webster vs. Pete Dunne vs. Trent Seven vs. Tyler Bate vs. Eddie Dennis
The Thunderbastard is a lot like Aztec Warfare from Lucha Underground. Two men start and every 2 minutes, another person comes in. Elimination occurs via pinfall, submission, or disqualification. The winner earns a Progress World Title match. (Fun fact: The Thunderbastard winner has never won the Progress Title off of winning the Thunderbastard.)
Entrants, in order:
- Tyler Bate
- Chris Brookes
- TK Cooper
- Trent Seven
- Eddie Dennis
- Flash Morgan Webster
- Pete Dunne
- Mark Andrews
Eliminations, in order:
- Eddie Dennis (rolled up by TK Cooper)
- Pete Dunne (Disqualified for hitting a low-blow on TK Cooper)
- Trent Seven (rolled up by TK Cooper)
- TK Cooper (hit with baking tray and Praying Mantis Bomb by Chris Brookes)
- Chris Brookes (Shooting Star Press from Mark Andrews)
- Mark Andrews (Tyler Driver ’97 from Tyler Bate)
- Tyler Bate (inside cradle from Flash Morgan Webster)
This was a great match. The best Rumble-style matches are cut into sections, and this was cut into three. The first was Eddie Dennis doing whatever he could to get his hands on Mark Andrews. He was so disappointed when Flash came out after him. He aggravated his torn pec and sat out for a minute before clearing the ring when Andrews was certain to come out last. Andrews came out and hesitantly came down to the ring. Just before he got in the ring, Cooper rolled Eddie up and eliminated him. Eddie went on a rampage before being forced out by the ring crew. Smell ya later, jerk.
The next section was TK Cooper being a prick. He achieved this by getting involved with all three members of British Strong Style. After they beat him down, TK kicked Trent and Tyler low. Dunne, not above breaking the rules, kicked TK in the balls. The problem was that the ref saw this and disqualified him. While Dunne was mad about that, Cooper rolled up Seven to eliminate him.
Seven and Dunne were both being brought to the back, and while the ref had his back turned, Brookes hit TK with the CCK baking tray and the Praying Mantis Bomb to send him packing. The crowd like both guys, so the reaction on that was split. But TK was very clearly being a prick, and Brookes gave him his comeuppance.
The final section was the Final Four of Brookes, Andrews, Bate, and Flash. Brookes ate 2 Shooting Stars from Bate and Andrews and got eliminated. Andrews and Bate got into it and Bate got the elimination with the Tyler Driver. Bate and Webster were left on their own, and Bate had the win with the Gotch Tombstone. But Vicky Haskins came out and took the ref. Flash took Bate out, then noticed Vicky at ringside and sent her away. Bate went for the Tyler Driver, but Flash rolled through and got the pin and the win. Great stuff here, and a great continuation of multiple storylines. ***3/4
Winner: Flash Morgan Webster
PROGRESS World Championship: Matt Riddle vs. Travis Banks (c)
Banks won the World Title at Chapter 55. This is his ninth defense. Progress allowed the fans to vote for Banks’s opponent on Twitter. With a vote of 56%, Matt Riddle beat Jonah Rock.
This match had everything I enjoy in a big main event. It was hard-hitting, and Riddle especially had a mean streak that upped the intensity of this one tenfold. The later this match went on, the clearer it was that Riddle had this in the bag. He hit Banks with, and this is in order:
- A jumping knee
- A Bro-ast to Bro-ast (coast-to-coast)
- A second rope Tombstone Piledriver
- A jumping Tombstone piledriver
- Kicks to the head
- A Bromission
Banks would get a shot in, but Riddle was in firm control when he locked the Bromission in. The fans were buzzing, they thought the title change was coming. Then Banks rolled back and stacked Riddle up for the win out of nowhere, and people were pissed. There were loud boos, chants of “bullshit”, even Riddle was visibly upset. And in the middle of it all was Travis Banks, half-conscious, face down on the Progress Title.
Loved the ending of this one. Travis just hung on by a thread, and the picture tells the whole story. I don’t know if the boos were what Progress were going for, but I don’t think they should panic by turning Trav heel. I don’t want to say ignore it, but wait and see if this was just a one-time thing. After a few minutes, Riddle shook hands with Banks and left. Really good stuff. ****
Winner: STILL PROGRESS World Champion, Travis Banks
After the match, Flash Morgan Webster came out and stared down Banks from the stage. Vicky Haskins came out behind Flash and smiled at Banks, and if she smiled at me like that, I would probably die.
FINAL THOUGHTS
Progress Chapter 64 was a mixed bag. While I enjoyed most of the matches, the storylines are still very shaky. Why has Charlie Morgan joined the House of Couture? Why are Haskins and Havoc a thing? What does Vicky Haskins want Flash Morgan Webster around for? There’s just a lot of questions hanging around that Progress haven’t bothered to answer, and the answers would really help the situation. But matchwise, this show was very good.